I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

So, my family has a special place in our hearts for the underappreciated part of the television viewing experience. The ugly stepsister, if you will, to the actual show that you're trying to watch.

We love commercials.

My dad has often talked about how cool it would be to just have a special channel dedicated to all the best commercials worldwide, and I totally agree.

However, there is a total downside to our love for ads. The crappy ones. There are so many ad campaigns on TV right now that I just can't stand. They're either offensive, dumb, or just plain bad, regardless of the product they're selling.

Here's a little collection of some of the ads that are laugh-out-loud ridiculous.

This is actually the commercial that inspired this post. Um...what? I'm sorry. Not only can your voiceover guy not sing at all, but it is the stupidest concept. The best part is that they call this "The Manthem". You go, boys. You go.

This ad is actually the funniest thing ever, aside from the Life Alert commercial (hence the title, but Life Alert is comedic gold and therefore not going in this list). My favourite is when the guy is at the party and listens to the girls across the room. What? Oh God I just can't stop laughing.

I'm pretty sure somebody at Carl's Junior decided that it didn't actually matter what they did in their commercials, so long as there was a hot girl getting down with her bad self. This commercial is just silly...but I appreciate their Vanilla Ice-y ness.

"It's kind of...a bummer."

I've always had some questions for Ellen Feis. Ellen, why can't you open your eyes? Were you unaware that you were shooting the Apple commercial that day, and got yourself completely trashed beforehand? Are you on some sort of medication that zaps every ounce of life out of you? Or is your lackluster nature a directors choice, trying to prove that Apple's down with the kids these days? Proving that, in whatever late '90s time period you were in, the teenagers and their hip new hate-the world ways want a mac?

Also, that last line is ridiculous, mostly because of the prolonged awkward pause beforehand.

Also, why didn't you just save your paper as you went?

Oh, Ellen Feis. 

Why, Ellen Feis? Why?

Don't even get me started on this commercial. "Man's last stand?" Man's last freaking stand?

WHAT?

Don't make me go all crazy bitch on your ass, Dodge. I will mess you up.

I am a firm believer in the fact that girls have it tougher. I am also a firm believer in the fact that this ad campaign needs to take off it's diaper and get over itself.

Poor babies. You're right. You have to exist. Better buy yourself a Dodge. Because if you don't, your woman's just gonna run right over you. She's gonna have control of everything, stupid biznatch.

Better keep your woman in check there, bud. Keep her in check with "the car I want to drive".

Go make me a sandwich.

Anyway, phew, done. I do believe this post is the result of what could be called a sneaky hate spiral. Also the result of staying up until one in the morning catching up on Flashforward and being subjected to that first Dove Men commercial over and over and over and over and over and over and over. 

love,

me.