Taking The Water

Moving Day

2011-03-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

It's time to officially part ways, blogger crew.

I've had some good times on here, but let's get real, I haven't posted in months.

I do, however, post all the time on my tumblr, denmarksaprison (click through to check that out). Tumblr's just a better fit for me right now.

You've all been great, and I plan on keeping up with your blogs, promise.

love,
me.

Sniffle Sniffle Cough Cough DIE.

2011-01-18T21:05:00.000-08:00

Hey there all.
This is me, sticking my head out of my dark, mysterious cave of tumblrdom to say he-COUGHCOUGHCOUGH-llo.
sniff.
sniff.
sneeze!
sniff.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH.
ragged inhale.

I'm sorry, were we having a conversation? Did I interrupt it with my fantastically classy combination of what my doctor labeled both bronchitis and sinusitis that just won't quit? Well jeez, that's too bad.

I am losing. my. mind.

Last week I began my newest endeavor as Mrs. Lovett in the school production of Sweeney Todd. I have a ton to prove. There were hoards of girls who thought - nay - expected - this part. And...well...I have problems of the lung/throat/sinus variety. So my singing leaves much to be desired.

We have a choir competition at Chapman University coming up, and we've kicked into high gear during Madrigals. Who sits there and doesn't sing during rehearsal for an hour and 42 minutes? This girl.

I'm a senior in high school. I don't have a lot of time for curling up and sleeping. And now, based on the fact that I'm up all night with coughing fits and a post-nasal drip that burns my throat like you wouldn't believe, I'm getting less than no sleep.

Ughhhhh guys. How is the beautiful boy in my first period ever going to notice me if I'm coughing? How? I try to be cute, but I know that I'm oozing.
Oh god.
I hope I'm not oozing.

love,
me.

New Year

2011-01-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

It's 2011. The year of:

my high school graduation.
a boyfriend (hopefully)
Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd
pescatarianism
taking the stairs.
graduating a valedictorian
the start of college
hopes and dreams. let's do it.

Christmas Makes Me Want to Blog.

2010-12-24T13:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is...maybe it's all the cheer and closeness and holiday joy that makes me want to sit on the internet all day with the people that really "get me". Maybe it's the fact that I started Taking the Water last year around this time, and it was the catalyst I needed to make 2010 the best year yet.

I'm not promising to be the best blogger ever. I'm not promising to post regularly, because we all know that's not happening...I've lost a crapload of followers over here and I get it, I've only posted once in months. But Taking the Water is the blog that started it all. I've grown up so much since I started it, and it didn't matter if anybody was reading what I wrote, and it didn't matter if anybody knew it existed. All that mattered was that I had an outlet, and it mattered to me. I had spent so much time thinking about the person I wanted to be, and I feel like I'm her -- or at least, a lot closer to her than I was last year.

I hope you're all having an amazing Christmas season with your families and friends, wherever you are in the world. I've kept up with some of you, thanks to tumblr or twitter (both of mine are linked right there), but I would really love to start back up this blogmance we had going.

love,

me.

No H8 Here.

2010-10-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today, I am making my tentative return to the blogosphere to bring you all some amazing, heartwarming news.

We all know that our nation has some hate going on. Some deep, dark prejudice and nastiness that led us all to wear purple on October 20th in support of some of the most genuine, amazing people on this planet. The last few months have been full of terrible news concerning the deaths of many gay individuals, and those are only the ones that make it to the media. There is a legitimate problem here, and as the friend of many gay people, it breaks my heart to see the close-minded bullying of complete idiots force innocent people to feel like they have nowhere to turn.

Aliso Niguel High School, however, is not like that.

Yes, we have conservative people. This is Southern Orange County, obviously Aliso has its fair share of hardcore religious groups that believe homosexuality is a sin.

But we have a lesbian homecoming queen.

My friend Alyssa was crowned Homecoming Queen at last night's game, and I could not be more proud of not only her, but the school that elected her.

Not every school can say that an openly gay girl wearing a tuxedo stood proudly next to her father and the rest of the Homecoming Court as she was crowned Queen. Not every school can say that there were cheers as she held a bouquet and waved to the stands, her girlfriend in the crowd.

I know it's blurry, but Suzie was crying when she took it.

Alyssa, we love you.

Alyssa's not just Homecoming Queen because she likes girls and we want to feel like good people. Alyssa's Homecoming Queen because she is hilarious, and nice, and has so much school spirit it's crazy(every. single. dress up. day.), and she has a warm heart, and she is loyal to her friends and she is a Queen in every single definition of the word. She has all the support I could possibly drum up, and even the mormon boy I was talking to yesterday agreed that "Alyssa's really cool".

I'm not trying to make a political statement with this post, I'm just proud of my friend. If you don't agree or whatever, I don't want to see your hate in the comments.

love,

me.

I am officially the worst.

2010-10-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

did I seriously only post once in the month of September? I think that's a record for me.

I'm pathetic.

i promise, that when i get home from work today, i will post something brilliant.

The Love-Ridden Angst of A Teenage Drama Queen

2010-10-01T06:02:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing dream last night. The best dream I've had in a while, if maybe ever. The kind of dream that, when you're pulling up out of it and drifting back to reality, you cling to, scrambling to stay asleep and keep it going, keep it real.

Because of course I know it's not real. I mean I'm real, and he's real, but my chances with him are slim to none considering I chicken out every time I try to be at all flirtatious. Dreaming we were a couple....best thing ever. I know I need to realize that he's probably not interested. But that doesn't make him less gorgeous, funny, smart and kind. And softspoken. And effing perfect. And that doesn't make my dream less amazing.

I was up at 5:30 today. It bugs me that that's an extra half hour I could have slept in with visions of him and me and us floating around in my brain.

Ugh.

So how is everyone? I've lost a few followers, but I completely get it...I haven't posted in forever, and I'm not promising to post again for a while.
I just have no inspiration.
And I'm busy being a high school senior with AP's, college applications, a crap ton of homework, a job, and a social life.
Plus I just have no inspiration. I have nothing to write about! So annoying!
I am, as always, posting constantly at sweetconfrontation.tumblr.com.

Comment if y'all have any boy advice.

love,
me.

Classic Whimsy

2010-09-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

I got some mail today! I love snail mail...usually its just bills for my parents or fliers from a million universities for me, but today it was completely worthwhile!

My cousin Melissa designs jewelry, and has an etsy shop that I absolutely adore. Its all vintage, refurbished pieces with quirky, unique charm and total, complete CUTENESS. Check out Classic Whimsy Designs. Seriously. Stop reading this post and click that link.

No, stop reading.
Stop it.
Click the link.

Did you click it? Don't you LOVE IT?

I helped Melly out with some marketing ideas and what not for back-to-school, and in return she sent me three lovely pieces. And when I say lovely, I mean "I am wearing these every day".

I was gifted (completely unnecessarily, totes didn't deserve it, thanks so much Mel):

Autumn's Key, which I thought was HUGE when I looked at it on the site, but is in reality tiny and cute and understated in brilliant fall colors that I am wearing every day. The chain is long, which I love, and it's the pendant necklace I've been looking for.

Ginger, a lovely necklace that has a shorter chain for a classier look. I really like where the pearl hits me, because it calls attention to the girls. And we all want attention called to the girls. It's super Old Hollywood.

and finally,

Coral Rose, a lovely ring that adds just a little bit of color to my hand. I have been wanting to become the kind of girl who wears rings, but I have crazy huge knuckles and they never fit...this one is open in the back, which makes it fit all my fingers easy. Thank God!

I am so happy. Mel is the best, and not just because we have the same birthday.

love,
me.

P.S. Seriously, buy some stuff. Free shipping in North America!!

"Inter-Network-Cross-Pollinasynergism" : The Emmys 2010 Fashion Roundup

2010-08-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

I love the Emmys. I might love them more than the Oscars. Actually, I know for a fact that I like them more than the Oscars. This might have something to do with the fact that I spend far too much time parked on the couch in front of the television, but the Emmys are such a friendly awards show. They're actually funny. They have longer acceptance speeches with less obscure awards. They're shorter, you can watch them TWICE, and comedy is represented as a legitimate genre of work.

But let's be honest, during the hours we all spent watching the Emmys (and in my case, when I say watching, I mean squealing with delight every time anybody did anything because I'm such a geek when it comes to basically every show they mentioned last night), as we giggled at Betty White, "awwww"'d at Temple Grandin, and thanked our lucky stars that Jimmy Fallon was a good host and proved our little brother wrong (or was that just me?) the real star of the night was fashion.

So here, ladies and gents, is my round of up the best (and worst) of Emmy Night 2010!

Best:

Christina Hendricks

Now, I will admit to having a huge girl crush on Christina Hendricks, and in this gorgeous lavender Zac Posen gown she does nothing but right. As a busty girl myself, cap sleeves can be hard to pull off, but their feathery nature and her plunging neckline do her a whole lot of justice. I honestly love everything about this outfit, from the barely-there accessorizing to the waistline to the colour to the way the bottom of the dress moves with her...A+! You go girl!

Claire Danes

The whole night, all I could rave about was Claire Danes. She won for Temple Grandin, the project that really was the star of the night, and her sequined Armani Prive dress was the perfect blend of glitz and understatement. Her makeup was perfection. Seriously, she glowed the entire night. Her hair didn't try to upstage the dress, which was itself a work of art. The lines were so clean on her, and the train was dramatic without being medieval. She was a star of the night both for her acting and her style sense. Plus, Hugh Dancy makes the best arm candy. DROOL.

Lea Michele

Lea Michele, the up-and-coming Glee songstress we all know and love, took a mature, dramatic turn in her look for the Emmys this year in a ruffled navy Oscar de la Renta gown that is absolutely breathtaking on her. It's such a grown-up look, which is refreshing on her, since we are used to seeing her as Rachel Berry. It has an almost Spanish flamenco feel with those angled ruffles and she was an vision at the awards ceremony last night. I have always had a problem with Lea's bangs...they never seem to sit right and they break wrong at all the wrong times, which I feel was a problem for her on the red carpet, but when the camera turned to her in her seat during the show, her hair was just lovely. I also love the large necklace with this look...I'm not usually one for statement jewelry as it can get a little "costumey" for my taste, but with such a striking dress I think it was the perfect addition.

Dianna Agron

And we can't forget Dianna Agron, a Glee beauty in her own right, who shone in a tiered Carolina Herrera lacey masterpiece. I usually try to hate her because I'm so jealous of her natural beauty and talent, but I have to concede that she was totally gorgeous at the Emmys last night. I love that her hair was up, because it allowed the dress, which is not exactly mainstream, to really shine in all its romantic and decadent glory. I also adore the lack of accessories, which really seemed to be a trend on the red carpet last night, because a bare collarbone always makes a strapless dress look better.

Worst:

January Jones

I know that this is one of the most talked about looks of the night, whether people love it or hate it, but I just can't get down with January Jones' futuristic Versace ensemble. I get that she's trying to be avant-garde and risky, but this whole space-crusader look just doesn't do anything for me! The angled hemline just isn't flattering, the fabric looks like the kind of stuff they make those fire-proof suits out of, and her hair crosses the line from "natural" to "undone"...you're on Mad Men, girl. I don't expect you to walk the red carpet as Betty Draper or anything, but there's a level of class required here that dressing up like a Space Crusader just isn't going to achieve.

Heidi Klum

Heidi, oh Heidi. Maybe it's just that I expected more from her. Maybe I am just usually so stunned by her red carpet glam that this Marchesa number fell short, but I just hate the way it sits on her! I know she's making best dressed lists around the web, but I think it makes her hips look wider than they are. She's a gorgeous woman, and from the bodice-up I think she looks ravishing, but that mini skirt gives her hips a wide look and her legs a muscular appearance that just doesn't scream "supermodel slash reality tv host" to me. The whole ensemble just seems a little stiff, don't you think?

Naya Rivera

You couldn't have two Gleeful ladies on the Best list without one on the Worst, and Naya Rivera certainly accomplishes that with ease in her Simin dress. Allow me to just outline all the things I detest about this. That slit is too high, those shoes are too Gladiator-meets-Star Wars, her posture is atrocious, and what kind of extraterrestrial is she keeping inside her hair? Seriously, that hairstyle must be concealing some pokemon of some sort, or at least some food for her to eat during the 3-hour-ceremony. What other reason would Naya have for perching a bulbous mound of hair atop her absolutely pretty face? On the upside, that colour works well with her skintone, and the bodice is extremely flattering. But two rights don't make up for a series of oh so wrongs.

And there you have it! My Emmys 2010 roundup! I'm not pretending to be a fashion blogger or anything, but I hope you enjoyed my opinion(s)!

love,

me.

Just throwing some Jon Hamm eye candy in here for your viewing pleasure.

Oh.

My.

Damn.

This Post Doesn't Need A Title

2010-08-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

I just went through and read a month's worth of posts on all my favourite blogs.

I've missed you guys!!!

I'm home now from New Hampshire. I had a lot of time to clear my head and think and become wise on that trip, and aside from understanding the bizarre, obsessive appeal of Dunkin Donuts, I feel a lot more at peace with where I am in life and who I want to become.

Tonight I will be "celebrating" with all my friends. I say "celebrating" because we're all getting together in honour of an event, and it's going to be tons of fun...but it's sort of sad at the same time. Sort of like those parties after funerals, except...not at all like that. Am I a terrible person for likening this to a funeral?

anyway, my friend Maureen is leaving for NYU again. I don't like it when she leaves for NYU and leaves us all here in Southern California without her quirky style, ridiculous intelligence, amazing sense of humour, maturity and overuse of the word "inspiring". Without Maureen, moments like these would never have happened:

she's the one in the floral dress. I'm in polka dots, because I'm

cheery like that.

Maureen, New York is lucky to have you. And we'll all see you when you come home to visit, so it ain't no big thing.

I'm going to miss you though!

In other news, I got my biggest paycheque yet on Monday. $573 in my pocket, y'all. Super excited to do some back to school shopping with that money. I haven't worked since the 8th, and I'm missing the kids! Not enough to cover anybody's shifts this week now that I'm back, but I still miss the children. When I was at the Boston airport a little boy was wearing a Batman shirt, and I legitimately almost cried because it made me think of Alex, a little boy at work who pretends to be a different superhero every day. And you know when you're almost crying because you miss children you barely know that there is something seriously wrong with you.

I LOVE MY TUMBLR, by the way. Check it out, because I have 40 followers. That's 26 more than I have on here, so something has to be going right over there. I'm thinking of changing the name though, we'll see.

See you all on the flip side!

love,

me.

Two Days In A Row? I Think I'm Cured!

2010-08-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

Who else is proud of me for blogging today?

Yesterday, I didn't make it to Dunkin Donuts, but I did have breakfast there this morning, and I think it's safe to say that I understand the appeal. Their iced caramel latte is better than starbucks, for sure, and although the cash register lady was really rude to me, I no longer harbour resentment for its crazy popularity.

Last night daddy and I went to Portsmouth for dinner on the harbour. I took a panorama of the harbour, but the changing light over time made it a little funny looking...

I also got a shot of the bridge that I like.

I'm not a photographer or anything, and I have a crappy broken little Kodak point-and-shoot, but it's fun.

So far I love New England. The people are super friendly, everything is historical and quirky and fantastic and all the buildings are brick and fascinating. I think I could be really happy here.

The whole point of this trip is to look at Northeastern and Boston University. We're going to Boston this weekend. We're just in Hampton right now so dad can work...I toured his plant today and all of his coworkers were absolutely amazing. The background on his boss' computer is a photo of his daughters and Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo freaking DiCaprio. Apparently his boss' cousin is Robert DeNiro...no big deal. Green with envy, right here.

I am really talking about nothing interesting.

Here's a haiku.

I like New England

It is super cute

Life here is awesome.

You know your blog post is lame when you can sum it up in a haiku.

love,

me.

I've Been A Bad Blog Mother, I Know...

2010-08-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

but let's not let that get us down.

For now, let's focus on the more fun parts of life. For example...I am travelling. And I haven't really done much this year that allowed me to blog from somewhere other than my bedroom, so that's pretty darn cool, if I do say so myself. I'm updating my tumblr as well, but I just feel like that's not really the place for a lot of talking, and Lord knows I love a lot of talking.

This week I am in Hampton, New Hampshire...aka the world's smallest town.

I thought I grew up in a small town. We had more sheep than people, and it was totally rustic and stuff...but this town is smaller than that. I've never really spent that much time in New England, and I have made a few observations since I arrived last night:
- the salt in the air from the seashore burns my eyes and nose. yuck.
- 3 words: funniest. accents. ever.
- What is with all the Dunkin' Donuts? Please reference this tweet from last night:

I'm sorry for the crude imagery, I know that "hard-on" is probably not a term I should casually use on a website my mom reads...but seriously. I know I live in Southern California where there's a Starbucks on every corner, but I've never been inside a Dunkin Donuts, and they just don't look that impressive. Why are they EVERYWHERE?
-The buildings in the main part of town look like Gilmore Girls. Except that Gilmore Girls is in Conneticut. And the town they live in is easily twice the size of this one.
- Time changes are bitches. I didn't really understand why my dad took Nyquil last night, and now I totally get it. I've never gone West Coast - East Coast before, and when you're lying in bed at 12:45 and it feels like 9:45, and you want to go to sleep so bad it quite literally hurts but you can't because your biological clock is screaming at you...you should take some Nyquil. I didn't, but then I woke up at 7:45. Which felt like 3:45. Clearly I do better waking up at stupid body-times than I do going to bed.

I'm off to shower and then experience the wonder that is Dunkin in a bit, so...be prepared.
I'm going to try to blog here more often, I promise. If you've missed me, check out my tumblr, where I've been spending all my time lately.

love,
me.

I'm Not A Stylish Person, But A Girl Can Dream...

2010-07-28T12:18:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm working, I have actual cash, something I've never possessed in quantities too large to keep in my wallet at one time, which is both an exciting and stressful experience. Exciting in that I can actually buy things now, and stressful in that I have to buy the right things now.

With a job, money takes on a completely different meaning. I love shopping more than most things in life, but I am much more particular in my choices now, because mine is the only voice telling me "no" now, and if I'm not careful I will quite literally buy everything I see.

That being said, I have a "WANTS AND NEEDS" folder of online shopping gems bookmarked on my computer, and I thought I would share with you all some of the things I am coveting hardcore right now.

Every time this dress is in stock, I worry that it's too expensive.
Every time it is out of stock, I kick myself for not buying it sooner.

How cute is this, right? I saw it on calivintage and fell in love,
but I'm unsure that I would wear it enough to justify the purchase.

This dress is a perfect little summer outfit.
I can't even handle it's adorableness (and if that's not a word, it should be).

I'm no wild child, but a little animal print never hurt, right?

I fear that if I kept this list-making up, we'd be here all night with little fashionable items I lust after.

It's nice to be back, blogger...I missed your stupid layout problems and general complicatedness :)

love,

me.

Long Time No See!

2010-07-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

This is what I look like...remember me?

Hey there! It feels like forever.

Just thought I'd pop back in here and update y'all.

I have been working non-stop. Money in my pocket, what whaaaat. I love my job, and I love the kids, but I think I'm ready for a break. The first week of August I'm planning a little vacay from the vomit/diaper ridden world I live in.

My bestie Kathleen is in town, and we watched 11 hours of Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Started at Billboard Dad and watched them all chronologically. Except for Switching Goals (we never liked it), Holiday in the Sun (because we watched it a few months ago) and New York Minute (because it wasn't available on Netflix Instant Play).

I toured Loyola Marymount University on the first of what will be many college campus visits, but I think that's fodder for another post, because I am stressing so hardcore.

I have been on tumblr a ton, but practically ignoring my lovely blogger community. It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I have nothing good to say to you.

With all my newfound cash, I need you guys to give me good shopping ideas. Where to go, what to buy. PRONTO.

love,
me.

"Like Everyone...Trust No One" -- Lauren Conrad, the Hairspiration.

2010-07-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

I've been growing my hair out for about a year now, and it has finally reached the mid-back/past-boob length. This is extremely exciting to a girl whose hair has been relatively short ever since she chopped off her butt-length hair in the 2nd grade.

Since I just bought a GHD straightener (only used it once and I already can tell it's a match made in hairstyle heaven), I've been trolling the net looking for fun things to do with my hair.

I am so in love with everything Lauren Conrad has ever done to her locks. I plan on copying her to death this summer.

Girl crush alert!

love,
me.

I Haven't Been Posting.

2010-07-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, not on here, actually.

Over here, though, I'm posting all the time.

So, if you've missed me...head on over to tumblr. I don't want to permanently move over there, because there are some things that are just more blogspot fodder or whatever. But...I love it a lot. So, yeah.

love,
me.

Strike A Pose!

2010-07-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went out into Wood Canyon with my friends for an exploration/photo sesh. Suzie is destined to be a celebrity photographer. We need to go out again.

But seriously, when did my thighs get so huge? Not okay. Other than that, I love the pictures. Here are a couple!

Austin <3

Me on a chair.

I love this one of Taylor.

Look at those thighs. Christ. I like my serious face here though.

God knows I've never been serious around these people in my life!

Work it, Kami.

This would be me on the Eagle Scout stairs.

Check out Suzie's flickr for more pictures from the shoot!

And of course, it wouldn't be Friday without some blanks to fill in from The Little Things We Do!

1. My favorite thing about this week has been: The photo shoot, DUH. I love my friends. I love Suzie's camera. I still need to work on my modelling and stuff, it was the first time I've ever done anything like that, but I had a lot of fun and can't wait to go out again!

2. The weather this week has been: Gross. It seems like everywhere else in the continent people are complaining about the heat, but in Southern California of all places we can't get any. It's July, people...why is June Gloom still here? It's been overcast and generally nasty, although around 2-5 in the afternoon we've been getting sun. Seriously? A 3 hour window in the middle of summer?

3. The last (interesting) item I received in the mail was: My AP scores! I worked my ass off and got a 5 in Biology and a 4 in English Language/Composition. Which is amazing. A 5 is the best you can do. GO ME.

4. The last movie I saw was: Eclipse. Now, it's my favourite of the three books (yes, I read them and liked them, shut up)...but the movie sucked. It sucked hard. If you remove the eye candy...there were absolutely no selling points. But the eye candy made it worth the 11 bucks (seriously, where did Taylor get those abs/Robert get those eyes?)

5. If I could be doing anything I felt like today I would: spend more time with the trannies. I feel like I can never hang out with them now because of work. They all went out for Korean food/boba last night, and even though they hated their dinner, I would have loved to go with them instead of take CPR training. And today I'm working from 1-9. I'm sorry, but what the eff.

6. As a teenager I was: awesome. Oh, am I biased because I'm still a teenager? Maybe.

7. I wish I could trade lives for the day with: nobody. I like my life just the way it is. Maybe I'd trade with somebody who has a boyfriend, haha. Nope. I like being me.

love,

me.

Time Capsule Tuesday: Back to Broadway

2010-07-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

It feels like it hasn't been that long since the last Time Capsule Tuesday, but I think that's just because I totally slacked this last week when it came to the ol'bloggy blog. Sorry.

Anywho, here you go. Random.org has selected a number between 1 and 788 (the number of tagged photos of me on Facebook). It is...

517! And the corresponding photo...

Awwwwwwwwww. First off, how young does Gaston look? I mean, none of you know him. But this was just last March, and little 15-year-old him is completely different than 16-year-old him. So adorable.

I look a little different, but not much. My hair is less sun-kissed. I definitely look younger, but like, there's not that much difference. And Jessie looks exactly the same.

This photo was taken at the Fullerton festival, a magical weekend experience I blogged about here. It's a moment where you completely immerse yourself in your art and the love that people bring to theatre. That community will always inspire me with its acceptance of anyone and everyone, and its willingness to try anything. That year's theme was "Back to Broadway", and Gaston had to be sent home early because he was caught in the bedroom of a bunch of senior girls. Smooth, buddy.

As I write this, my iTunes has played 3 Spring Awakening songs in a row, even though it's on shuffle. It knows I'm writing about theatre, I swear.

This picture makes me miss a number of things. I miss school (being on summer vacay, I see way less of Gaston, who happens to be my best friend forever. BFF for you cool kids). I miss Jessie (she's at college now. Well, she's home for the summer. But we still barely see each other). And I miss Laura. Now, she's not really "in" this picture...that is, we didn't know we were taking a picture of her. And neither did she. See the girl in the background on the right hand side? The girl wearing the same "Urinetown" shirt as Gaston and I? She was an Italian exchange student. She was amazing. Genuine, kind, sooo interesting and absolutely hilarious. She played Mama Strong in our production of Urinetown, and brought such a bright light into everybody's lives. She looks absolutely disgusted in this picture, and it makes me wonder what was on my sweet Italian love's mind.

love,

me.

"Sitting Between Your Past and Your Future Doesn't Mean You Are In the Present. "

2010-07-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

I rarely post "reviews" of anything on here, partly because I rarely feel like it but mostly because I don't feel like I have enough expertise in any particular area to pass judgement...so this isn't a review. It's just me discussing a movie.

Today, exhausted after the 4th straight day of work with the ~~demons~~ children, I laid in bed and watched exactly what I needed -- a quirky, indie romance -- Dakota Skye.

Now I will concede that I almost tweeted 20 minutes in that it was the most poorly acted/written movie I'd ever seen and I was only still watching because of the fact that I didn't have enough energy to click "Return to Browsing" on Netflix Instant Play...but it picked up. It totally picked up. This could just be me having a huge crush on Ian Nelson, because I so totally do, I knew that going in, heck, it's pretty much the reason I picked the movie, and seeing him in a less 7th Heaven/Bratz Movie setting, something more serious where he plays an unfailingly honest stoner boy with the cutest little smile and the purest little heart...was awesome. He was the only actor that I didn't want to punch in the face the whole time, and his monologue about the things he couldn't say? Tears in my eyes, goosebumps on my arms, baby.

I mean, yes, the movie is not brilliantly produced, but it's an indie film, but it's sweet in that it doesn't try to be anything it's not (ie, a movie you've heard of before). It's a simple story about a girl with a superpower (she knows what everybody really means when they lie) and her journey. It has some brilliant writing and more than one moment where I went "Wow, that was a good line!"...and I rarely actually notice writing. Plus, it made me want to go to Arizona.

You know, as I write this, I'm beginning to think that the only reason I stopped hating it halfway through was because Ian Nelson became more central to the plot, and therefore got more screentime. Not that that is a bad thing at all...

Hot damn.

love,

me.

And To You, If You Have Stuck With Harry Until The Very End...

2010-07-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

Now, let me just preface this post by explaining that I am not a Harry Potter fangirl. I do not troll Deviant Art for drawings of "young Snape" or reenact duels at midnight premiers (oh yeah, that happened. And they believed in it 100%. I mean, they were dressed up and casting spells). I am, however. Obsessed.

I have been a Harry Potter fan since I was in first grade. It's a series I grew up loving. The characters grew up with me. I've read and re-read every single book, watched and re-watched every single movie. I cried when I finished the seventh book. For that matter, I cried when I finished every book, because I didn't want to have to leave that world. And I will admit to the blogosphere that I cried when I did not recieve an acceptance letter to Hogwarts on my eleventh birthday.

I honestly feel like there was a period in my life when the world of the Harry Potter books was my alternate reality. Late elementary school and middle school, for me, were horrible. I was constantly bullied, my self esteem plummeted, and I spent more time crying than anything else. I never believed in the books (eleventh birthday aside), in that I thought they were real or I was delusional about the difference between reality and fiction, but they were, and are, an escape. An escape to a world where the farthest reaches of your imagination are true. A world where people with the straightest of moral compasses fight for what they know is right. A world where Ron Weasley exists, because lets be honest, he may be the hottest fictional character ever.

And yes, I love Ron Weasley. I love him so much. I love him, I love Rupert Grint (the actor who plays him)...there's something about an awkward ginger wizard that I just can't resist. I loved him when I was 6. I loved him when I was 8. I loved him when I was 12. I love him now. I will love him when I am old and gray. I definitely own a shirt that says "I'd Get Sleazy for Weasley" on it. Not gonna lie.

♪ AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.... ♪

So yeah, Twilight has lots of abs and teen angst. But a 4-book series about a girl's struggle between bestiality and necrophilia just doesn't have the same appeal, I'm sorry. Not that I didn't read Twilight in middle school/freshman year and enjoy it, because I did. And not that I don't think that Taylor Lautner has the best body of all time, because he does. And not that I am not going to the movie theatre soon to catch Eclipse, because I will. But do not even try comparing the two, because Harry Potter will always win. He will always live. Because he has something to live for. (Deathly Hallows trailer reference? Yeah I did. Seriously, so excited. Watched the trailer and shat my pants. Figuratively.)

love,
me.

P.S. Ron and Hermione > Edward and Bella. Juuuust saying.

P.P.S. Me and Rupert Grint > Every other couple in the universe.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T00:56:00.000-07:00

Time Capsule Tuesday: "Leggins"

2010-06-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for Tuesday to finally roll around so that you could feast your eyes on some classic Aurora moments from the past -- free humiliation included.

Today's random number, selected out of the 782 pictures tagged of me on Facebook is...

646! And the 646th photo tagged is...

Finally, a Time Capsule Tuesday where the picture isn't actually of me!

Now, who am I to try to understand the mind of 14 year old kids who have obviously injested some sort of illicit substance to produce this drawing in their math class?

Clearly, this "matching sweater, leggins" person is me. I have some sort of swirly skirt on. The - presumably unclothed - stick figure is my then-boyfriend Nick. He was nice enough, I guess. Kind of a pompous ass, but that's fodder for a different post.

My clearly-inibrated friends got it into their heads that we must wear this ensemble to the upcoming school dance. I'm not sure which is more ridiculous, their spelling of "leggins", my "eye bags" that "carry money", my green hair that matches my sweater and leggings, or the weird shocked expression on my date's face.

Although it was sweet to look through the comments and see him refer to me as "my girl". Good times, good times.

love,

me.

P.S. I've become obsessed with my tumblr. It's an amazing creative outlet. Check it out at http://sweetconfrontation.tumblr.com

Here's to All Violin Cases Still Smelling the Same...

2010-06-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

me at 8ish, playing at my Grandma's house.

Today, I played my violin.

Now, if an average person were to tell you that, it wouldn't be a big thing. Ooh, yippee, you practiced your violin. You play violin. You are a violin player. This is anticipated.

With me, not so much. I started playing violin when I was 7. Years of exams with the Royal Conservatory, lessons with everyone from incense-burning hippies to gruff chain-smoking 80 year old Russians to dramatic absentminded Quebecers followed. I had calluses on my fingers and a permanent divot in my right thumb where it squeezed against the frog of my bow when I played.

...I haven't touched my violin in 2 years.

Well, that's not completely true...I played Pachabel's Canon (yawn) at my cousin's wedding last year. But I haven't really touched it. Held it in my hands, felt the curves in the wood and appreciated the blemishes from hitting music stands when I swayed too much playing a concerto. I haven't played it with love, rosined my bow to the tune of a song in my head. I haven't played with vibrato, feeling my fingers sway, jump and dance along the fingerboard...until today.

Today, I rosined. Today, I held my violin in my hands for the first time since I moved to California and truly played. I just sat for an hour and made music by myself downstairs until my fingers hurt, because the calluses are long gone.

I played the old songs and was immediately back in Sylvie's cramped lesson room, hearing her yell "MORE BOW, S'IL VOUS PLAIT." Or I was transported to Mr. Gumenyuk's stuffy, too-hot classroom above the church. I could smell the cigarettes. I knew which songs were his because he never touched the music with a pencil, except to change some fingerings here or there. He was a jerk, but he tought me to play. After learning with him I had a very stiff classical style, but Sylvie warmed it up in her melodramatic, romantic French way. She was a professional Tango violinist as well as an orchestral player, so her style was way more dynamic.

Now, if I had kept playing, my style could have been my own, rather than a blend of theirs. But I couldn't do it. When we moved to California, I couldn't bring myself to open the case. It felt foreign to me now, this instrument I had loved so much. I almost felt like I was betraying my old self by not doing it anymore, but I was convinced I didn't like it anymore, that the stress of it all had taken a toll on me.

And it had taken a toll on me. I didn't love it anymore for the last 8 months of playing before we moved. I kept fainting during lessons, and I barely practiced. I was a theatre kid now, attending art school, and I blamed my mother for forcing me to practice and go to lessons. But was it really the violin, or was it the stress of an imminent move to California plus my teacher's ever-growing, ever-strict expectations that pissed me off?

I'll never know for sure, but today's playing was monumental for me. It was difficult. It's not easy to just waltz up and dig into something you haven't experienced in what feels like a million years. But it was so healing. I think this summer I will rekindle my relationship with my violin. It won't be the same, like all relationships that take a two-year break...but I feel like it can grow back. I never want to take another violin lesson. I want this to be on my terms. But I feel like I can love it again if I try hard enough. Actually...I think it might be not trying at all that brings back the love. No stress, no expectations, just me and Seitz, Mozart, Bach and Vivaldi hanging out and making music.

love,
me.

P.S. I'd forgotten how magical my violin case smells. My favourite thing used to be that even after years and years of owning my own instrument, the case still smelled of Ifshin Violins in Berkeley, which is where I bought him (my violin is a boy. Mom doesn't get that, she thinks it should be a girl, but I don't get to choose the gender of my instruments. The piano's a girl, if that makes you feel better.) and the case still smells like that. A blend of rosin and wood and...love. I can't explain it. I don't know if all cases and violin shops smell like that...but mine has always smelled of Ifshin, and it still does.

5 People, 2 Dogs, and a Bird.

2010-06-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

Allow me to paint you a picture: 3 fully grown people, one mostly grown, almost teenage boy, and one growing ten year old with anger management problems. All of these people experiencing the ridiculous stress of house hunting with a limited time frame and even more limited patience. 2 dogs, one little and yappy and the other big, smelly, and uncomfortable. Both of these dogs wondering why they aren't at home. One bird with seperation anxiety, resulting in screaming -- not singing -- when left in a room by itself. Living in a hotel room. A small, cramped hotel room with 2 bedrooms, a main tv area and a kitchenette. 5 people, 2 dogs, and a bird.

5 people, 2 dogs, and a bird who had to move to California from Ottawa, Ontario because of Dad's job. 5 people, 2 dogs, and a bird who decided not to buy a house before moving so that we could select a good one...and because we really didn't want to lease a place. 5 people, 2 dogs, and a bird who just wanted to move back to Canada. Well...4 people, 2 dogs and a bird who just wanted to move back to Canada.

It didn't matter how many houses we looked at, none of them seemed to work. Even worse than that, as soon as we found a house we thought we could live in, the bank informed us that the original information they had given us was incorrect, and our loan was going to be smaller. Faaaantastic.

Then, one day, after 2 months of living in a Marriott, heaven smiled down upon us. It was right after we had gone out on my dad's friend's boat in Newport. We were all sitting in the hotel room, my little brother playing guitar incessantly, little sister playing with the dogs, me on Travelocity finding flights home, and Mom airing out Parker's hockey equipment, when Dad got off the phone. "Honey...can we move in with Brad?"

Those words changed the whole summer.

Brad is an interesting man. By far the wealthiest person I know, but when we moved into his house for a month, he lived in his mansion by the beach by himself. He had a huge kitchen equipped with everything from the kitchen store (you think I'm kidding, but he literally sent his credit card and asked for one of everything). His TV is bigger than any television I've ever seen. The entire back wall of his house folds up so you can have this open beach-to-house-integration that's super amazing. The sunset out the back of his house looks like this:

Basically, his house was amazing. To combat the ever-present stress of being legitimately homeless, I baked my way through an entire "dessert" cookbook.

But it's not even about the house. It's about the man. It's about the kind of generosity it takes to open up your home to 5 people, 2 dogs, and a bird. It's about the kindness it takes to just call my Dad and say "I just called my friend, he has a moving van. He's coming to pick up your stuff and you're living with me instead of in that hotel room." It's about us not having to pay him anything except food. We did all the cooking and I didn't mind at all. It's about taking us go-karting and teaching Parker to surf. It's about handing me $200 for school clothes. It's about telling us that we "complete you" when it is you that completes us. It's about falling asleep at Benihana and then denying it later. It's about letting me blast my iPod in your whole-house speakers and letting my sister fly radio-controlled toy airplanes behind your tv. It's about being the first Californian to support us and want to hear about our day and our lives. Its about being like our uncle, except that you're just Dad's friend from work. It's about taking Parker and Gillian up in your plane to prove that the marine layer is not made of rain clouds. It's about loving us like we're family. It's about coming to Parker's hockey games even after we've moved out. It's about being an amazing, generous man.

Saturday was Brad's 50th birthday party. I honestly can't even imagine what it would have been like if we had stayed in the hotel room in Yorba Linda all summer. I probably would have died. The sheer claustrophobia of 5 people, 2 dogs and a bird in 3 rooms is really not okay.

Thank you Brad.

love,
me.

The Painful Saga of the Perpetual Bun.

2010-06-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

Since last week when my father broke my hair straightener (just knocked it off the counter...thanks daddy...) I have had my hair up in a perpetual bun to hide its grossness.

All day I've been dreaming of straight locks...

Obviously I'm in the market for a new straightener...any brand suggestions?

love,

me.

And the Times, They Are A-Changing...

2010-06-25T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hey there everybody, so there's some big news going on up here. I have officially carved out a new corner of the web for myself, because clearly Facebook, Twitter and Blogger weren't enough.

I officially have a tumblr. And I know I already have a blog, but the way I see it...I can do whatever I want. I'm blogging for myself here, and there are certain things that just aren't Taking The Water material. Things that are more in-the-moment, stream-of-conciousness type things that I just want to spew out into the world in a blur of spontaneous clicking and typing.

I'm not the only blogger who does it, either. My ultimate blog crush Heather Taylor over at The Dream Machine has one, for example...it's a thing bloggers do, okay? And I'm really happy about it. So be happy for me.

Hit me up at http://sweetconfrontation.tumblr.com. Hit me up now.

In other news, my dear lovely friend Josefine threw a graduation bash last night, and while I am not a graduate just yet, I had a blast. We also took a bajillion photos.

My bestie Suzie et moi at the partay.

Josefine has a beautiful home and threw an amazing party. It was so nice to hang out with everybody and I had an amazing time.

And while I was too busy last Friday to post, I have not abandoned Fill In The Blank Friday just yet. Here is this week's installment, and its culinary theme is making me hungry!

1. If I could choose my last meal it would be: A cold glass of Coke and the chicken alfredo they serve in the Pizza Port at Disneyland, with frozen blueberries for dessert. Don't ask why I always crave the Pizza Port chicken alfredo, because I don't know. It's just...delish.

2. My favorite person to share a meal with is: The trannies! because Every time I have "trunch" (tranny lunch) with my friends Austin, Jasveer, Gaston, Taylor (x2), Suzie, Kate, etc...my life just gets that much brighter.

3. The best meal I've ever had was: Hmmm...that's a toughie. Probably brunch at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill in NYC. I had mahi mahi there for the first time and it was a truly magical experience.

4. The one food that makes me feel instantly better when I'm having a bad day is: Any carbohydrate, really. Because I'm allergic to chocolate (i know, gasp!) my comfort food is any sort of carbs. Yum yum yum.

5. My absolute specialty in the kitchen is: Baking. I'm the honorary baker in my family...pies, cakes, cookies, you name it, I love making it for you. When my family moved from Canada to California and my life was a stress explosion, I baked my way through an entire Williams-Sonoma baking cookbook. Something about baking is a stress reliever for me, and everybody loves the food!

6. The city that has the best food is: Los Angeles, although I'm a little biased and my favourite restaurant there is Rock Sugar Pan Asian Kitchen in Century City. Oh. My. GOD. I die. It's right next to Beverly Hills and Hollywood, and my mother and I absolutely adore it. Everything from the ambience to the service to the to die for food...it's the perfect place. I want to marry it.

7. My favourite healthy snack is: frozen blueberries, as I noted in number 1. They're 9 times as good as regular blueberries, and they're a sensory delight. They're crunchy, cold, and delicious. Drizzle some maple syrup on top and they become even more fantastic (but I'm Canadian, so I think that everything becomes more fantastic with maple syrup).

8. In my opinion the nationality which has the best food is: Italian. I'm a sucker for a good pasta. And Italian food has such heart in it, you know? Eating at a good Italian restaurant, you can feel centuries and centuries of love and hard work and super-cute accents.

9. If I could learn to cook anything in the world (and be really good at it!) I'd choose: rice. I know this sounds dumb, because I consider myself a good cook, but I cannot for the life of me make a batch of rice. I screw it up every time. And it's kind of a staple. Plus, I love rice! The other night I went out for Persian food with friends and had this rice dish with cherries, dates and raisins in it. An unusual combination, certainly...but I savoured every bite. So amazing.

10. The most outrageous dessert I've ever had was: this cookie-ice cream thing. Wow, way to describe it, Aurora. When I lived in Ottawa, there was this restaurant called Jack Astor's in the little town centre thing. And they had this dessert which was a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie stuffed with ice cream, and then covered in more ice cream. SO GOOD. And so weird.

So yeah, that's my Fill In The Blank Friday this week. I hope you all are enjoying the beginning of summer, and have a fantastic weekend.

love,
me.

P.S. don't forget to head over to http://sweetconfrontation.tumblr.com because you love me <3

Here Comes Your Man...

2010-06-24T13:48:00.000-07:00

I'm free.

School is over. I am officially on summer vacation. Two whole months of sunshine, swimming, tanning, barbeques, friends, bonfires, shopping, ice cream, sleep, and so much more.

I am a senior in high school now. Class of 2011, baby! I don't feel mature enough at all to be in my last year of high school, it feels like just yesterday I was in middle school, for Chrissakes.

In honour of it finally being summertime, I have attempted to find a collection of goodies more awesome than junior year being over. Let's see how this goes.

the best damn Vanity Fair spread of all time.

Thank you soccer (and God), for creating these men and their abs.

Graduation yesterday! I caught this moment (The cap throwing)
on video, but Suzie's photo's great too.
Congrats, class of 2010!

Black TOMS, be mine...

This bedroom. L-O-V-E.

As soon as I have the money, we will finally be together, Volkswagon

Beetle convertible...I promise.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

Time Capsule Tuesday: G'ed up from the Feet up

2010-06-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well here we are, another Tuesday, another time capsule. This one will be short, because I have my last final tomorrow and am supposed to be asleep right now. Little Sister is in bed across the room and is not loving the light from my laptop.

Today's random photo from my Facebook profile is...

714! And the corresponding photo...

Oh. Wow. Hi, embarrassment, I'm Aurora. Nice to meet you.

This was CHILL camp. Grade 9. All the coolest kids in school (art school, mind you, so I use "cool" loosely here) go camping for a weekend. We bonded out of our MINDS. Tears, laughter, hugs, interpretive dance, you name it.

Each cabin had a theme, and, clearly, ours was Gangsters. Because clearly a bunch of white art-school girls from Canada are hardcore. You can't see our aluminium foil grillz in this picture, but they're there. Two of the girls in this photo grew to be my best friends in the universe. I've lost touch with the rest...but I will never forget our weekend here. I will never forget the sense of belonging I felt that weekend.

I miss Canada. I miss art school.

Sadface.

love,

me.

Today, I...

2010-06-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today, I wish I was in Barcelona...but Orange County will do :)

Today I got my first American bank account and my first ever checking account, deposited my first paycheck, and felt so grown up.

Today I rocked my French final.

Today I ran a mile and a half for my powerwalking final (wait...running = powerwalking final? whatever, Mr. Jeung) and didn't fall on the ground crying halfway through. Yay for fitness!

Today I signed so many yearbooks, and realized that my inability to be sentimental is being replaced by this thing where I write a full page (sometimes more) in every single person's yearbook. Uh oh. Blogger alert.

Today I sat in Madame's room for the last time, enjoying my last French class of high school EVER, because I can't fit AP into my schedule next year.

Today I finished my AP Lang final project. Oh, it's a group project, you say? Haha, a group project of one, maybe. Oh, there are 5 people in the group, you say? Ell. Oh. Ell.

Today, I am sitting and watching The Bachelorette with my mother, just like I do every week. Once, a little while ago, a boy I was sorta-kinda-dating wanted me to go to a party with him, and I explained that every Monday I have a date with ABC. When I go off to college we'll have to skype or something. This is our show <3

So, I'll talk to you later, because it's time to watch my boyfriend Kirk go after Alli. What a mistake, Kirk, clearly we're meant for each other.

Love,
me.

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

2010-06-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Father's Day. And I know that floating around the blogosphere are about a trillion posts about bloggers and their dads, and I know that you're probably hoping this one isn't going to be like that, but you are mistaken.

You are sorely mistaken, my friend, for you see...I have the greatest dad ever.

he's going to hate me for using this as the picture...but it's too great to pass up.

My dad is the best.

He's the leader of "Team Clare".

He never lets us give up, even when we're moving internationally and crying every day.

He believes in the power of family and sticking together and working hard.

He's my hero.

He got a twitter to be hip.

He was the first Clare to graduate high school.

He never went to college, but people always ask him where he got his PhD, because he is seriously the smartest person I know.

He told me, in sixth grade when the boys were making fun of me, that "you can't let the bastards win". Words to live by, dad.

He's been planning my college education since I was a baby, because he'll be damned if I'm not the first Clare to graduate from postsecondary education.

He's never not proud of us.

He puts up with my crazy.

He cries at the end of Mulan, when the dad says that "sometimes, the last flower to bloom is the most beautiful".

He cries when we watch "Say Yes to the Dress" because of the idea that one day I'll get married and move away.

He is seriously the funniest person I've ever met.

I am not the only person who thinks this.

I'm pretty sure he reads this blog, because he hints at it sometimes, but I don't think he'll outright say that he knows about it until I feel confident enough to show it to him.

He is one of my best friends.

I love you, daddy.

love,

me.

Thought Provoking

2010-06-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

Our choir teacher showed us this video today in class because "as a teacher, it's my job to, on occasion, actually teach you something". And so here I am, passing it on to you, because as a blogger, it's my job to, on occasion, teach you something.

It's a really cool video that makes you think about our world, the future, and the state of our generation.

What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-16T05:59:00.001-07:00

Time Capsule Tuesday: Dude Looks Like A Lady

2010-06-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

Today, after a long day at school and then work, I was worrying that I had nothing to write about, especially after yesterday's emotional implosion.

Then I remembered it was Tuesday, and all was again right with the world. Time for another Time Capsule Tuesday, ladies and gents.

Out of the 775 photos tagged of me in Facebook (I know, what a jump from last week...prom, what can I say?) Random.org selected photo number...

83. And the eighty-third photo on my Facebook profile is...

Oh my God. Okay, sorry, wait a minute while I die laughing. This was the greatest day ever.

It was right after we finally wrapped up the Multicultural Fair and were on our way to fifth period, aka French IV, aka the biggest hot tranny mess on the planet. I'm pretty sure there's 2 straight guys in our entire class.

My bestie forever Austin is probably the gayest person you'll ever meet, and when we needed to pitstop at the bathroom, didn't think twice about coming in with us. He couldn't just wait for us outside. He spent the entire time marvelling at how much cleaner and larger the girls' restroom was compared to the boys (which must be really gross considering the state of ours) and this picture pretty much captures the hilarity that was him "exploring" our bathroom. He then proceeded to leave his textbooks on the floor and raise his hand in class to ask if he could get his books from "le toilette des filles", which didn't really sit well with our teacher.

So, Austin? Henri Super-Vedette? Wave your tranny flag high. You stand for all things amazing and all things gay and I love it and I love you. I love you drying your hands in this picture. I love how gross my hair looks. I love...in general.

love,

me.

The One Where I Hate The World.

2010-06-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Today, I learned a valuable life lesson.

Don't look at the prom pictures of the guy who broke your heart. You will want to cry, regardless of how much fun you had at prom with a different group and a different date, because you will wish that she is you.

You will want to cry regardless of the fact that he led you on for so long and said so many things and had you believing all of his promises and sweet nothings only to tell you that "fyi, nothing's gonna happen" because you're "not attractive enough".

You will want to cry despite the fact that you haven't spoken to him in forever, even though you see him all the time, because you're afraid.

You will want to cry because he is ridiculously attractive (and looks just like Kirk from this season of The Bachelorette. It's true, everybody agrees.) and that one picture of him kissing her stupid cheek under a stupid tree makes you want to barf. Stupidly.

You will want to cry because he looks so relaxed and cool and confident because he's just like that and you wish you could still hang out with him and have his arm around you again, and have him speaking to you all quiet and romantically and promising you so much...even though you still hold a grudge and you will never forgive him and he's basically the scum of the Earth.

So yeah, I'm pissed. More at myself than him at this point. I mean, what did he do? He figured out he didn't like a girl as much as he once had, and she wasn't his girlfriend or anything so he ended it before things got more serious. He broke it off in the stupidest way possible, via a myspace wall post and a text to her best friend, but he broke it off. He was only a sophomore, and her now ex-friends were pressuring the crap out of him, which can't have helped.

I'm pissed that he's so gorgeous and I can't stop being attracted to him. I'm pissed that I, in some bizarre masochistic fashion, want him to notice me in the hallway at school. I'm pissed that looking at pictures of him and his girlfriend at prom made me depressed, because my date was a sweetheart and we had a ton of fun. I'm pissed that I still think about this guy, and that he chewed up my heart even though we weren't even dating.

I don't like him. I don't want to be his girlfriend. I just want him to never have liked me - or pretended to like me, or whatever it was that he did - I want us to not have this awkward history so that pictures of them don't make me feel like I'm missing out, because I'm not. I'm not missing out, he's an ass. A cute ass, but an ass nonetheless.

I'm sorry if this feels like griping, or me moaning about another stupid high school boy problem (different guy than the last post, though), but I just needed to release the emotions I felt after seeing those photos. Those emotions may not have come out coherently, but I feel better knowing they're out there now.

I really did have an excellent prom. And I'm glad I didn't go with stupid "you're not attractive enough for me" boy. Because I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun.

Thanks for listening.

love,
me.

P.S. And his girlfriend's dress/hair for our prom were really tacky. This cheers me up immensely.

Forever Young...

2010-06-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

How do I describe the last 3 days?

Hectic, exciting, bittersweet, amazing, tearful, monumental, life-changing, fantastic.

Thursday: Drama Banquet. At the end of every year, everyone who was involved with anything in the Aliso Niguel Theatre Arts department gets all dressed up and celebrates the year with a night of nostalgia, inside jokes, senior send-offs, etc. There was definitely a video shown of me doing the dance from the Shakira "She-Wolf" video. Awesome. I felt like I took way more photos than I did, but at some point I will have a video of my senior send off for my friend Dante. I still get a teary thinking of him leaving for Stanford in the fall, and I went up there and tried to explain our bond, and tried to convey how deeply I care about him and how much respect I have for him as a performer and friend. It's impossible to put into words how I feel about that boy...platonically, of course. As a token of his appreciation, and because "I've been such a good friend" he gave me his super-comfy stanford sweater. I'll wear it with pride, babe.

Friday: Even though it was a Furlough Day (aka free day off school!) I had to work all day, and then run to a choir concert, but it was all okay because i love choir. There, I said it. Laugh, whatever. Throw a slushie in my face, I don't care. I'm a choir geek and proud of it. The friends I have made in Madrigals will last a long, long time. Adam, Jane, Bijan, Dante, Ashley, Tanner, Samer, Tess, Salma, Alexis, Sara...the list goes on and on and I love them all dearly. I can't believe the seniors are leaving -- I can't imagine life without them, let alone fourth period. Heart Heart Heart. There's a great photo out there of Bijan, Adam, and Dante with a sea of smiling girls that I will try to find and post here when it's posted on Facebook...it basically describes choir. What can I say? Choir girls love us some basses.

Saturday: Dun dun DUHHHH...Prom. I did my own hair and makeup, which was fantastic until we took pictures at the beach and my cool loose curls turned into a texturized version of my plain straight hair. I can't help it that my hair rejects all style in the face of humidity. I had a great time, my date was a sweetheart, and my group of friends made it one of the best nights of my life. The limo ride was amazing thanks to pumping music and Bijan's fantastic dance moves. Miles will never stop making me smile by being the sensitive, creative dude that he is "I have fancy shoes! Look, I can tap dance!". I made new friends and danced my heart out with old ones. Everybody looked amazing. The Shark Club was an amazing venue for the event and I basically loved every minute of it. I felt like I was in a classic teen movie the entire time.

I love us. Even though my darling date is creeping in the back instead of standing by me :P

And did I mention Bijan, the sweet, sweet white-tuxed amazing dude that he is, won PROM KING? Woooooo!

How was your weekend? Sorry I haven't been posting lately, but I'm a busy girl!

love,

me.

Paris Nights, New York Mornings

2010-06-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

Today still counts as Thursday, okay? I didn't miss a day.

Today was drama banquet. Amazing annual celebration of love, and when it isn't 12:40 I'll be explaining it in greater detail.

Today was the busiest day ever. Left the house at 6:45 for school, back at 2:45. Left again at 3:00 for choir rehearsal. Drove straight to the hotel to set up/get changed for drama banquet. Had drama banquet. ROCKED IT. Left at 10:30ish. Got home, and chatted with my parents eating over salted (by me, sorry) french fries until 12:30.

Because I'm cool.

Anyway, I'm super exhausted after a night of crying and laughing and clapping and cheering, so I have some music for you.

I love this song, the artistry of this video, and the general fantastic that is Corinne Bailey Rae, so enjoy.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-09T19:05:00.001-07:00

Time Capsule Tuesday: Random.org Likes Theatre Pictures

2010-06-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

Time for another Time Capsule Tuesday, albeit a shorter one since I just got home from work and need sleep after the children sucked the energy out of me all afternoon/evening.

Random.org chose...

And the 519th photo tagged of yours truly on the Book-Face (office Halloween reference? Anyone?)...

This was taken backstage during the school play LAST year. There seems to be a theme in these TCT's, where they're all from school plays. We did Rehearsal For Murder, and decided to set it in the '20s rather than the 80s (as it is in the script).

I played Bella Lamb, and this photo was taken pre-age makeup. She was really rich and a huge cougar. It was one of the first non-musical shows I'd ever done, and I really liked being more introspective and thinking about my character in a way that didn't involve grapevines or jazz hands. It made me really grow as an actor, despite our clear tech failure. The sound was atrocious.

I had lots of awesome fur coats and shawls and fantastic pearl necklaces and gloves and hair and the biggest crush on our leading man. But that's relatively unrelated.

My friend in this photo played the Stage Manager of the play-within-the-play. Love her to bits. Also note my darker hair colour...this was before I managed to get all of the auburn out of my hair from freshman year, but that's a story for another Time Capsule.

love,

me.

P.S. I am too tired to function.

P.P.S. Prom is this weekend. Turquoise knee-length dress...hair/makeup ideas?

Yes We Can.

2010-06-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today, I watched this video and cried. So powerful and moving, and I'm not even an American citizen.

Work It, Girl.

2010-06-05T22:03:00.000-07:00

I love working with kids.

Best things about my new job:

Cute kids, including one little boy who knows all the words to "Bad Romance".

50 cent pop cans in the break room.

Working with my good friends

Making new good friends

MONEY.

Holding babies and thinking to yourself that one day, this little 2 month old person will be an adult. And he will have a job and kids and a personality. I mean, he can't even really hold his head up yet, but he's a person.

The Mexican housekeeping ladies in the break room who are always watching Telemundo.

Cute boys.

Playing Wii and owning the children, even though as the teacher you should probably be letting them win (generosity is for squares).

Wearing a nametag and feeling all official.

Making the screaming children stop crying...it's extremely gratifying, especially when nobody else has had success. Yeah, I'm self absorbed and competitive like that.

Did I mention the MONEY?

I love having a job. It's my first real one ever, and I'm so glad. Making well above minimum wage doing something I genuinely enjoy with people I like...I'm a happy camper.

love,
me.

P.S. Sorry if you think this post is lame, you try working a 5 and a half hour shift with tons of children. It tuckers you out.

I'm Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend...

2010-06-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

Well hi there.
I'm back, I hope you all liked the little visit from Eric Bana, isn't he dreamy? I'll pause so you can swoon, maybe a quick google image or youtube search for the beautifulness that is him.

Okay, attention back here, ladies (and dudes, I don't discriminate), I know I'll never be as cool as my husband Mr. Bana, but that's okay. You're reading my blog. I knew you first, so clearly I get dibs. Hold on, Eric, they can feast their eyes on you in a second.

So my life is crazy. Like, explode-out-of-your-mind-I-thought-school-was-almost-over-and-things-are-supposed-to-be-calming-down-guess-not crazy. I have my new, lovely, hectic, amazing, nicely paying job here, and prom business to attend to, and school banquets to attend, and a choir concert to perform at, and the SAT Literature subject test to take tomorrow morning, and homework, and finals, and a social life to attempt to have, and a haircut to get, and a blog to write and Eric Bana to marry. I'm a busy, busy girl.

Here, without further ado, is a new tradition I'm going to try to start. I want to post more often, and I feel like I can help myself do that by setting up little schedules for myself, since most of the time it's a general lack-of-inspiration that keeps me from blogging on a regular basis.

Here is Fill in the Blanks Friday, courtesy of The little things we do:

1. My dream vacation would be: A trip to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. I've wanted to go ever since I was a little girl and saw Holiday in the Sun (the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson movie? Yeah you know that's right)...I've been begging my family for years and we never had the time/funds. One day, though, it's happening. Honeymoon? What do you think, Eric Bana?

2. The best trip I've ever taken was: probably my latest trip up to Ottawa. I know Ottawa isn't exotic, and I used to live there so it's not really a vacation, but it was the first time I've ever flown internationally by myself, and I was there to visit my best friends in the whole wide world...it was magical and snowy and lovely and I miss it there so much. It was great closure and fantastic and I want to do it again.

3. The most important items to bring on a road trip are: good music, good books, good friends, and starbucks iced coffee.

4. The next trip I'm looking forward to is: a choir tour next year to ITALY. ITALY, GUYS. ITALY.

5. If I had to pick one CD to listen to on a long road trip it would be: Jason Mraz -- We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things. Oh wait...I've already done that? More than once? Yeah it's because it's the best thing ever.

6. The biggest disaster I've ever encountered while traveling is: when we were in San Jose for a few days of spring break this last April, and my whole family was watching my brother's playoff hockey game...we came out to find our car window smashed and our GPS gone. Take the GPS, whatever, but don't smash our window, dude, don't smash our window. And finding your way around a city you don't know while on vacation without your trusty GPS is really frustrating.

7. My favourite traveling memory is: Probably either my family's trip to Miami when I was in grade 5, our trip to Boston in grade 6, or our trip to New York City in the summer before grade 9. Oh, memories :)

Well there you go. Thoughts on Fill in the Blank Friday? I like it, do you?

love,
me.

P.S. Eric Bana says hi.

Yum. Eric Bana.

2010-06-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

Hi.

I'm Eric Bana.

Aurora was too busy watching my movie "The Time Traveler's Wife" last night and swooning over my intense level of gorgeous to post, so I'm taking over the blog for right now.

I am incredibly smouldering. And pretty much the perfect man.

Aurora and I are obviously going to get married soon.

love,

Eric Bana.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

Time Capsule Tuesday: Fish Out of Water

2010-06-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, here we go. New tradition.

There are 735 pictures of me tagged on Facebook. Today, I went on random.org and generated a random number out of these 735, to select one specific picture, a unique snapshot of a moment in time.

It picked...

124. And therefore, I am going to go to my Facebook page and pull out the one hundred and twenty fourth photo for your viewing and my explaining pleasure.

*ahem*.

Well then.

This is thrilling. See, this is the problem with random number generators. You get a photo of the back of my head.

Although, this, while just being a photo of the back of my head, does have somewhat of a story behind it.

You see, this picture was taken by my dearest friend Ryan, during the run of the school play, The Whole Darn Shooting Match, in which I was the leading lady, Elaine Stowe. It ran in November, right before thanksgiving, and was set in an office in the early 1960's, which is why I'm dressed like that.

Anywho, this photo is clearly capturing my reaction to our director and drama teacher brutally murdering our fish.

Not all shows have live animals on stage. Ours had a fish. We were in this quirky office and every scene had more and more complex and bizarre props, by the end there was a fish tank on stage.

I had painstakingly taken care of this fish, since my mom was assistant directing and it lived at our house for weeks before being being brought to school. Every morning before 0 period I would feed it and say "Good Morning, Mr. Warneke!". I made sure he was never in too bright or too dark of a room, and that he was always cheerful, or as cheerful as a fish could be.

He had a weird nose fungus, which made him all the more adorable.

Our drama teacher killed him in cold blood.

Well, not really in cold blood. I told her during study hall that if she just dumped water from the sink into his fish tank without purifying it and stuff with the chemicals my mother had put in her desk, that he would die. She looked at me and said "No, he'll be fine."

She then proceeded to kill the fish. I mean, I hate to say I told you so, but you killed the freaking fish, so I. Told. You. So.

So here I am, yelling at somebody because my fish was dead. And because it was Ms. Sain's fault.

I think I'm going to do this more often. I think I'm going to call it "Time Capsule Tuesday". I like that, it has a nice ring to it.

love,
me.

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

2010-05-31T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, my family has a special place in our hearts for the underappreciated part of the television viewing experience. The ugly stepsister, if you will, to the actual show that you're trying to watch.

We love commercials.

My dad has often talked about how cool it would be to just have a special channel dedicated to all the best commercials worldwide, and I totally agree.

However, there is a total downside to our love for ads. The crappy ones. There are so many ad campaigns on TV right now that I just can't stand. They're either offensive, dumb, or just plain bad, regardless of the product they're selling.

Here's a little collection of some of the ads that are laugh-out-loud ridiculous.

This is actually the commercial that inspired this post. Um...what? I'm sorry. Not only can your voiceover guy not sing at all, but it is the stupidest concept. The best part is that they call this "The Manthem". You go, boys. You go.

This ad is actually the funniest thing ever, aside from the Life Alert commercial (hence the title, but Life Alert is comedic gold and therefore not going in this list). My favourite is when the guy is at the party and listens to the girls across the room. What? Oh God I just can't stop laughing.

I'm pretty sure somebody at Carl's Junior decided that it didn't actually matter what they did in their commercials, so long as there was a hot girl getting down with her bad self. This commercial is just silly...but I appreciate their Vanilla Ice-y ness.

"It's kind of...a bummer."

I've always had some questions for Ellen Feis. Ellen, why can't you open your eyes? Were you unaware that you were shooting the Apple commercial that day, and got yourself completely trashed beforehand? Are you on some sort of medication that zaps every ounce of life out of you? Or is your lackluster nature a directors choice, trying to prove that Apple's down with the kids these days? Proving that, in whatever late '90s time period you were in, the teenagers and their hip new hate-the world ways want a mac?

Also, that last line is ridiculous, mostly because of the prolonged awkward pause beforehand.

Also, why didn't you just save your paper as you went?

Oh, Ellen Feis.

Why, Ellen Feis? Why?

Don't even get me started on this commercial. "Man's last stand?" Man's last freaking stand?

WHAT?

Don't make me go all crazy bitch on your ass, Dodge. I will mess you up.

I am a firm believer in the fact that girls have it tougher. I am also a firm believer in the fact that this ad campaign needs to take off it's diaper and get over itself.

Poor babies. You're right. You have to exist. Better buy yourself a Dodge. Because if you don't, your woman's just gonna run right over you. She's gonna have control of everything, stupid biznatch.

Better keep your woman in check there, bud. Keep her in check with "the car I want to drive".

Go make me a sandwich.

Anyway, phew, done. I do believe this post is the result of what could be called a sneaky hate spiral. Also the result of staying up until one in the morning catching up on Flashforward and being subjected to that first Dove Men commercial over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

love,

me.

Blahhhhhhhhhhh.

2010-05-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

All of my blogspiration has officially left me. I mean, I can't think of a single thing to blog about.

Do I want to make another list? I make way too many lists.

Do I have an interesting story to tell? Something touching or funny? Not really.

I don't like being an "apologetic blogger", but seriously, dudes...what am I doing here? I haven't posted in almost a week, but I've opened up the "New Post" page on blogger at least a dozen times and started to write something, always winding up closing it and vowing to return later in the day after something inspiring happens.

I've looked through my "inspiration" bookmark folder, but the only thing that stood out to me was this photo I bookmarked a while back:

and that's not exactly something you can base a post around.

How do all of you deal with blogger's block? Any tips? Hit me up, yo.

love,

me.

What I Want, You've Got and It Might Be Hard To Handle...

2010-05-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Hey. What's up.

I haven't been blogging in a while. It's because life is good.

So, I'm legitimately happy. The kind of happy that has Hall and Oates' "You Make My Dreams" playing in the background. The kind that has your head pretty much in the clouds at all times, with no intention of coming back to Earth any time soon.

In the last week I have been asked to prom, been offered a job, had my grades go up, received an Esprit de Wolverine award, and gone on my first legitimate date in practically 2 years. I'm a happy motha-effing camper.

Prom is going to be absolutely baller. The theme is Arabian Nights, and it's at the Shark Club in Costa Mesa...super excited.

And the job that I am probably going in on Thursday to train for is super exciting.

AP Bio is no longer a dismal 69%. Hells yes.

Esprit de Wolverine is an annual award ceremony at my school. Each teacher chooses a student or two from each of their subject who are the most dedicated and have the best grades and are generally fantastic. It's a big honour to receive one, and we all totally gloat (because at my school, smart is cool. Love it!). I got mine in US History, which I find highly ironic because I'm the only immigrant in the class.

And last night? He is so amazing. That's all I'm going to say about that. Heart heart heart.

How are all of your lives going? I have been so caught up in my own for the last little while that I haven't had time to read any blogs, but I promise I'll be catching up with all of you ASAP.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

love,
me.

I Wish They All Could Be California Girls....

2010-05-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

Dear California,

Thank you for being you. I know that when I first moved to the OC I resented you, and I am sorry for all the times I argued that you had no seasons, that the people who lived here were superficial or that you are lame. I am sorry that it took me over a year to fully appreciate your beauty.

Thank you for having palm trees everywhere, and soft sand to walk on that massages my toes.

Thank you for being full of cute boys.

Thank you for always being warm.

Thank you for having the best shopping and food ever. Especially the food. I mean, who knew avocados could be incorporated into every single meal without getting old?

Thank you for making it possible for me to have an annual pass to Disneyland, and go to the park whenever I want for as long or short of a time...which is just awesome.

Thank you for being the world's entertainment mecca. I <3 being an actress.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

you rock.

love,

me.

Giggle Giggle Giggle.

2010-05-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

I'm that giggly kind of happy that only happens when a boy asks you to prom under the Disneyland fireworks.

Seriously, boys, take note. Good move. Sweetest thing a boy's ever done for me, and it was Plan B. I'm a fan of his right now.

It's also 12:05 in the morning and I'm exhausted beyond normal human comprehension...I just can't stop smiling.

This is one of the few moments I wish I had taken the time to choreograph a happy dance.

love,

me.

If You Looked At The Inside of my Brain, It Would Be Organized in a Bunch of Giant Lists

2010-05-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

Frustrating:

* Falling down and scraping my knee yesterday. Ouch!

* STAR testing...waste of my time, much?

* Follow up calls. Je n'aime pas le telephone.

* Sharing a room. Privacy is slowly becoming less and less a part of my vocabulary, and I really miss it.

* Not being in AP Euro anymore. Mr. Bornfeld changed my life and the way I look at school, history, and myself.

* Passive aggressive people.

* All the drama surrounding prom groups this year. Who rides in your party bus is not that big of a deal, guys. It's definitely not losing friends over. If they want to go with other people, they want to go with other people.

Awesome:

* Possibly getting a job.

* Going to Disneyland tomorrow.

* The possibility of a boy who possibly thinks I'm possibly cute :)

* Sunshine and friends, and the fast approaching summer vacation!

* Ke$ha. Yes, I'm still obsessively listening to her. Does anybody have any equally addictive dance music for me to listen to instead?

* Surfing the net enjoying the beautiful tumblrs i find there.

* The Great Gatsby. I just finished it today, and F. Scott Fitzgerald is a beautiful author. I mean, the imagery in that book is amazing. My friend Ashley and I spent at least 20 minutes having an in-depth totally lit-nerd conversation analyzing the book once I was done.

* Courage. People who have it, people who show it on a daily basis. You know who you are, and thank you.

love,
me.

Currently...

2010-05-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

(currently, I wish I had a pair of pretty red heels)

**this post is inspired by the latest over at It's Unbeweaveable!--one of my favourite blogs.

Currently, I am celebrating the end of AP Biology! My AP test today went surprisingly well, and I'm pretty sure I rocked the multiple choice portion. Free responses are always harder to tell, and I know I bombed one of the questions, but it's okay, because the hard part is over!! I can't wait to spend the last month and a half of school doing labs and relaxing in that class, and not having the standard 4-hours of homework every week. Happy dance!!

Currently, I am listening to more Ke$ha. I am so irritated by her personality, but I admire her free-spirit mentality and her music is addicting.

Currently, I am super excited because Hodgins and Angela got married on the latest Bones, which I just watched on Hulu. With school (and scheduling conflicts with Survivor), I can never catch Bones live, and yes, I realize I'm a huge nerd, but they got married, guys. This is big.

Currently, I should be doing geometry homework or studying for my AP Lang test on Wednesday, but reading all of your lovely blogs, receiving a couple super-nice comments, eating skinny cow ice cream and watching Hulu is so much more appealing!

Currently, I am in the process of applying for a job I really really really really really really want. Not gonna share too much about it at this stage, but it combines 3 things I really want right now: a) a positive working environment at a super-cool locale (with the added bonus of having friends who work there, so we can take lunch breaks together and be all cool and grown up) b) working with kids! and c) a steady income so I can buy these and this and this and anything/everything from here.

Currently, I cannot get over how weird it is that it's already May. Am I the only one that feels as though this year flew by?

Currently, I find it hilarious and slightly creepy that my dad got a twitter. He barely tweets, but I think it's all to make him seem more hip and so that he can creep on my brother and I. He's my friend on Facebook and a Twitter follower. For all I know, he secretly reads the blog. Not that it would be a bad thing, I don't keep very much from my parents to begin with, and I never talk bad about them or tell huge secrets or anything on here. I just feel like he's slowly removing every outlet of online expression I have. Maybe I should get an old-fashioned diary?

Currently, I am deleting the biology study links I had bookmarked on my computer, and it feels great.

Currently, I am trying to figure out how I feel about a new boy who's waltzed into my life at the request of two of my nearest and dearest. He's cute and nice and super-smart, but I don't want to fall into the same trap I did last year when 2 of my friends (or, should I say, ex-friends) tried to set me up. So I'm letting this go extremely slowly and not letting myself have a full-blown crush until he starts meeting me halfway on this. Apparently he thinks I'm cute though, which is a step in the right direction. We'll see.

Currently, I smell meatloaf wafting from the kitchen. Most people complain about their mom's meatloaf, but mine makes it really yummily. (and yes, that's a word now). I mean, not something I want to eat every day, but it's good comfort food, okay? Don't judge me.

Currently, I love my blog. And my readers. And my life, pretty much. <3

love,
me.

Ten Confessions...

2010-05-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

1) My twitter background is an old photo of Robert DeNiro because I think it makes me seem more artistic.

2) I hate it when my little sister steals my clothes, but I take hers all the time.

3) I am a semiprofessional Facebook stalker.

4) In middle school I changed the artist and album names of all of my Disney and musical theatre songs to code words that sounded hip so that nobody would tease me.

5) I'm more excited for college than anything else in the world, but the idea of applying and deciding what I want to do with my life scares me more deeply than anything else in the world.

6) My grandma has Alzheimer's, and I am terrified that my mother will get it one day.

7) It hurts my feelings when people try to figure out why I don't have a boyfriend. I just want to complain about not having one and have them tell me how pretty and fantastic I am, and how much the boys are missing out.

8) I grew up Catholic, but I'm not really sure anymore. I just can't get down with hating other people because they don't agree with me.

9) I hate talking to people on the phone. Hate it. I always pray for voicemails, and then leave really awkward messages.

10) I love musical theatre. I've been doing it forever, and I'm actually pretty/really good at it. I'm just afraid of making that "what I want to do with my life" because of how easily I could fail.

Studying's BFF is Procrastination

2010-05-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

While trying to give my brain a break, aside from listening to copious amounts of Ke$ha, I have been able to do nothing but surf for interior design pictures.

I'm the queen of "nesting". I can't wait to have a house and a family, and I promise that when I do, we will be decked out. I wanted to be an interior designer when I was younger, and haven't really shook the habit of being entranced by a well-put-together room, a unique take on an everyday aesthetic, or an interestingly architectured home.

I find that my style is a blend of contemporary, streamlined and urban design as well as comfy, rustic ideas. It's pretty much a reflection of my personality, being a girl who grew up in a really small town with big-city dreams.

Here are some images that have me infatuated:

There's just a little taste of the ever-growing folder of bookmarks on my browser entitled "house crushes".

Okay, break over, studying (and watching Survivor, I'm not going to lie) time!

love,

me.

Cnidaria, Platyhelminthes, Nemertea, Nematoda, Rotifera...

2010-05-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

My brain is imploding. I can feel it swelling, pushing against the sides of my skull and giving me a throbbing headache. I can sense it churning and bubbling with all of the facts I am trying to cram into it. It's shouting at me to stop, that it just can't take anymore, but I still don't know enough. There still isn't enough crap in my brain.

AP tests. One week from today, I won't have to think about them anymore.

I have never studied this hard for anything my whole life.

AP Bio will kill me. This man is saving my grade. My teacher gives us all the impression that our success or failure means nothing to him, and it is so hard to push myself when he fosters no love of the subject in us.

I have become obsessed with Emily Haines. Her music + my studying = happiness. And by happiness I mean..."is it possible to die of stress?"

So I'm sorry I haven't been blogging, readers.

And I'm sorry I haven't been answering my phone, friends.

And I'm sorry to everybody who feels like I don't have time for them.

If it's any consolation, I don't have time for myself either.

love,

me.

A True Friend...

2010-05-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

(i'd have to be the middle one, because i'm taller/crazier than both of you)

A true friend...

- Tells his cool senior friends that they'll "catch up with them later" to come over, hug you, and wish you good luck on the big test he knows you have, and stays talking to you so long that you need to remind him that he's supposed to be heading to IHOP with the popular kids right now.

- Sends you text messages just to let you know that she loves you because "you tell it how it is" -- which is the main reason so many people have a problem with you.

- Knows that you get really grumpy when you're hungry, and force you to eat when you're "feisty".

- Reminds you after curtain call on the very last show you will ever do together *sniffle* how you are super talented, and you totally made the show. And then you cry, because you feel exactly the same way about him.

- Needs you to pin her wig to her head, and has little diva freakouts when you don't, which, even though other people think are a little melodramatic, make you feel appreciated.

- Is going to Stanford and knows everything about everything, but insists that your C in AP Biology isn't a big deal.

- Tells you that you look "really cute" when he can tell you put effort into your outfit, even though you pretend like you just threw it on.

- Wants you to teach her to read music over the summer, even though your mom is a legitimate music teacher and she could easily ask her.

- Insists that you be the one to do his stage makeup because "nobody else is maternal enough", which other people thought was an insult, but made you feel so good, because you can't wait to be a mom, and love being the most "motherly" person in the group. And he liked being coddled and asked to "look at the pretty birdy" so you could put mascara on his bottom lashes.

- Rehearses a duet from Jekyll and Hyde for Cabaret with you (that you never wind up doing), and lets you sing the part you wanted, even though she could probably do it better.

- are the greatest people ever.

Dante and Ashley, you are the cutest Seymour and Audrey there ever was...and the best friends a girl could ask for.

love,
me.

This Blogging Thing I Used to Do...

2010-05-01T17:29:00.000-07:00

No way, you're still here?

I'm so sorry I have been AWOL. Things are rather chaotic in my little neck of the woods, so here are some quick updates:

* Little Shop went amazingly. Our closing night, they needed to get out folding chairs for the back of the theatre because we were sold out with so many people trying to buy tickets at the door. Yay! We are the first show in years to be standing-room-only! While I am so glad that there are no more 5 hour rehearsals 6 days a week, I will miss the cast and...most of the crew...so much. At the end of shows everybody always promises each other that they'll hang out and stay friends and it rarely happens, but I know for a fact that Dante, Ashley, Dakota, Taylor, Tanner, Andy, Andrea and Lizzie will stay dear, dear friends of mine. We have all bonded in such a magical way, and in the words of our ridiculously talented leading man, "This is the best thing I have ever done, and you are all so amazing."

* Today, the day after closing night, I took 2 SAT Subject Tests and a mock AP Biology test. After the week of shows, plus hours upon hours of studying...my brain is seriously mush right now. The SATs are over though, and AP testing is only a week away, and then I am free. And by free, I mean I have to start studying for the June SATs and my finals for regular classes. Oh the high school life of an overachiever...I hate you.

* The teacher strike ended this past Tuesday, and it was totally ridiculous because the decision wasn't made until 11:30 PM, and so I got to stay up until 3 AM doing homework (none of which was collected). But it's nice to be back in the swing of things.

* Okay, I have run out of updates. This is how depressing my life is. Little Shop and tests. That is my life.

* I thought of one! Mr. Bad News is still trying to make my life complicated as hell, but I've decided not to make a boy who keeps me as a back-up plan my number-one priority. So that's good.

* Speaking of boys, I need a prom date. I probably won't wind up going, since I'm just a junior and it's not an emergency last-chance situation...but I really would like somebody to ask me. Or have somebody to ask. If only I didn't have some sort of pheromone that repels straight, single boys. Darn.

So yeah.
That's my life right now.
I know, it's thrilling.
I can't wait to go through and catch up on all of your blogs and see what's going on! I feel so out of the loop!

love,
me.

And Yes, San Francisco is the City Version of my Soul.

2010-04-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being stressed, and I'm tired of worrying about AP tests and SATs and striking teachers and our drummer bailing on half of the performances for Little Shop of Horrors, so I decided to look through the photos I took on my family's trip to San Francisco over spring break, which feels like eons ago, even though it was only a couple weeks back.

I think it was the last time I was legitimately relaxed, and had a good time without worry tickling the back of my mind.

Here, bloggy friends of mine, I'll share with you some of the shots that have calmed me down today.

After lunch in Chinatown

Lanterns!

I love my brother, he's such a goofball.

Cable car!

Daddy, me, sister. And no, I don't know what she's doing with her face.

Pretty church.

Best pancakes. Ever. Mama's at Washington Square. I'm serious. Delishhhh.

So yeah. My stress relief. That, and watching this video.

love,

me.

The Strike. (And Not the Good Bowling Kind)

2010-04-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to school, even though the teachers are on strike. As I sat in the AP Bio study session, I pulled out a piece of notebook paper and penned this next post. I'm not going to edit it or anything, just going to transcribe my little play-by-play of the most stressful and completely useless 5 and a half hours of my life. Enjoy.

Here I am at school during the teachers strike. They've seperated the AP kids from the regular students (which feels a little elitist if you ask me) and I'm sitting with the AP Chem and AP Bio kids, listening to my iPod and feeling sorry for our supervising teacher, who isn't striking, probably because she got a pink slip this year. She's just sitting up there in her lumpy pink sweater, grading papers and looking up at us tiredly.

I keep looking at my AP Bio study book and willing myself to open it and study, but every time I try to, the words swim together and I get a headache. Everybody is so stressed right now...I'm beginning to have a whole new respect for that saying about cutting tension with knives. 3 more hours and then we can go.

When Dad and I pulled up today, it was startling to see the teachers picketing. They blocked traffic so we couldn't get to the drop off zone, and it was upsetting to see these authority figures who you have so much trust in and respect for standing outside the school with homemade signs chanting "Board is lying, teachers trying!" at the top of their lungs. Luckily I don't have to deal with one of the grumpy, self-important SCABs or work on the packets that tell me how to buy a used car or write a cheque. Thanks, guys, but I know how to do that already.

A man just came in who teaches chemistry at college. he's so pompous I'm almost choking on his moustache and fake accent. He doesn't deserve the cookies he's eating that Emily so graciously brought in for this useless sit-and-talk "school day". Wow, this whole thing is making me grumpy.

We've ordered a pizza for lunch, which makes me think of that scene in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"..."What are you doing?" "You know, learning about Cuba...having a feast."

I mean, I'm not saying that playing cards and eating pizza isn't the best way to cope with all the stress that the school board/teachers union situation is putting all of us through, but I'm a tired girl who's only here so that she can be in the musical tonight, and I really just want to be at home in bed catching up on Glee, Parenthood and Bones instead of sitting in this desk surrounded by chaos wanting to cry.

I wish I was a butterfly right now. Butterflies don't have to worry about the teachers. And they can fly. That sounds really awesome right now.

Pretentious Moustache Man left. We were all playing cards, and that just isn't intellectual enough for him.

I hate this. I am so bored. Why did I come to school today? I hope the teachers outside had lunch, poor dears. It looks cold.

So I never really finished that. I think this whole thing is ludicrous.

For anybody interested in the Capistrano Unified School District teacher strike, just know that it is dumb. And I still don't know who I should believe, but here is some of the evidence:

A video by my friend Josefine, who has been to union rallies and board meetings and knows her shiz.

A video my friend Taylor recorded of one of the "substitutes" at school, yelling at the striking teachers and the students. (heads up: his language is atrocious. Don't click if your ears, or ears surrounding your computer, are sensitive)

Interviews with striking teachers outside my school.

The teachers union website

The school board website (just based on my own experience, the whole thing about the schools being run really well, and things going smoothly is a load of bollocks)

So yeah. Things are pretty crazy right now, and they have no plan to stop striking next week unless negotiations tomorrow go really well. Just thought that I should throw my two cents in.

On a slightly less negative note, Little Shop Opening Night was AMAZING. I love our cast. And our crew. And our audience (including a newly-adorable boy who I hadn't seen in a million years...his "you did great" kisses were much appreciated). So many thanks to Principal Salter for letting us perform, and to anybody who feels compelled to come see the show next Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at 7 PM.

love,

me.

A Sigh Of Relief

2010-04-21T23:25:00.000-07:00

(i'm developing a pattern where I just include pictures of babies expressing my mood. Enjoy this thrilled baby, guys)

Wow, the support from my last post was amazing, thank you all so much for your understanding and sympathy during my time of hysterics.

There has been so much drama within our school and district. Teachers are crying, people are freaking out...with the teachers going on strike tomorrow, it's pretty much going to be total anarchy...and the idea that our show would be cancelled absolutely broke my heart.

Just an update, though...a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. We still don't get to have opening night tomorrow, but our school administration is making a special allowance, and our show will go up as planned on Friday, regardless of the strike situation.

This morning, I wasn't sure if we would have a show at all, but I'm so much more relaxed now. It is still upsetting not to have opening night as scheduled, but this whole experience has really bonded the cast, and we have become even more of a team.

We owe so much to the principal for letting this go through, because he didn't have to, and I'm sure there was a lot of pressure on him to keep the whole run of the show cancelled. We really appreciate it, because we've all worked so hard.

On that note, if any of you live in the Orange County area, Aliso Niguel High School's production of Little Shop of Horrors is kind of the bomb. Running this Friday, next Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at 7 PM (thank goodness)

love,
me.

The Day the School Board Made Me Cry.

2010-04-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

(I included a cute, sad baby to distract you from my blind frustration)

I don't know how to express this in an articulate way...one that doesn't just involve me running around in circles, flapping my arms and screaming obscenities at passerby.

I have been working my ass off for three months on Little Shop of Horrors. So have 15 other cast members and at least 25 people working crew, plus 2 directors and a producer. We have put our hearts and souls into this production. Suffered grade drops. Been sleep deprived. Accidentally destroyed window frames and slammed our heads into window ledges in the set so hard that we're pretty sure we had a concussion (oh...was that just me? sorry).

Now, the teachers have announced that they will be striking Thursday morning. Which is, coincidentally, our opening night. Which means we don't get to open, because all extracurricular events are frozen.

I was hysterical last night, I'm not going to lie. I mean, I am absolutely devastated that the teacher's union and CUSD school board can't get their act together and avoid a strike, especially this close to AP testing...and the idea that we won't be performing kills me.

So I'm not going to school today. I'm wallowing in my sorrow and finishing homework. And will probably shed more tears than I'm proud of over this.

God I'm so pissed.

love,
me.

**photo from vi.sualize.us

A Message for A Boy.

2010-04-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to do.

You're the only person I want to hold me when I'm sad.
You know how to make me laugh so hard, no matter what.
You aren't afraid of people realizing how obviously we're flirting.
You give the best hugs.
You tell me I'm beautiful every day.
You shyly and quickly hold my hand when we're alone.
I have a text message from you locked on my phone that says "you look so pretty today" that I look at when I feel underappreciated.
You let yourself be vulnerable with me.
The way you look at me is unlike anything I've ever experienced before.
You make me blush and giggle like a little girl.
You have muscles from here to high heaven.
You're unlike anybody who has ever thought of me that way, and that both frightens and intrigues me.
I have tried for over a year to convince myself that we're just friends, but I think we both know that isn't true.

but...

You're a stereotypical "bad boy".
You got detained by the police last night and won't tell me why, which scares me.
You have really sketchy friends.
You have a girlfriend.

My friends say I need to ignore your advances, however obvious they may be, because of her. And I get that, I really do. I'm not that girl, the one who doesn't mind letting a boy cheat on his girlfriend with her just because he has kind eyes and rock-hard abs. When you cheated on her two months ago with some random girl you just met, we didn't talk for weeks because I was afraid that you expected our...whatever it is we have...to go in that direction, and because I was pissed that I wasn't your only back-up option.

I hate feeling so good around you, because I know it will wind up compromising my morals, but I hate not talking to my friend even more.

There's a reason my little sister sings "Womanizer" by Britney Spears when she hears your name come up in conversation. There's a reason my best friends had me burn paper with your name on it on Valentine's Day. There's a reason I blink away tears every time I lay my head on your shoulder.

You're breaking my heart. You've been breaking it since the day we met.

We need to stop.

I tell myself that almost every day, but I know I'll never be able to.

There's another boy, you know. One who's nice, and cute, and wholesome, and single, and absolutely great. And who thinks I'm pretty great too. You wouldn't have a clue, even though you know him, because you act like I'm yours. And you're torturing me. I'm torturing myself.

I wish I didn't sorta kinda love you...because you're so totally bad for me, and so totally never going to be mine.

love,
me.

I Left My Heart in San Francisco...

2010-04-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Germs....

I am in San Francisco and San Jose for the next few days, so I won't be posting.

Feel free, however, to peruse all my other stuff while you wait with baited breath for my return ;)

love,

me.

My Easter Weekend...

2010-04-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

...marked my little sister's 12th birthday, and made me feel old.

...transformed this photo from last year:

into this photo from this year:

(i realize i'm not wearing makeup. Relax.)

...let me sit and watch the Laguna Beach sunset with my family, and enjoy the sheer beauty of Southern California.

...was full of meals consisting of huge hamburgers, Costco pizza, nachos, Dole Whips, cookies, chicken alfredo, foccacia, and a plethora of other things that made me feel fat and happy. Like Santa.

...was the first time my family has spent Easter Sunday at Disneyland, and definitely not the last time.

...gave me the opportunity to hang out with a group of kids from school that I never see.

...marked the eve of my first ever Driving Lesson!

...gave me driving lessons with an instructor whose hair was beyond ridiculous.

...was awesome. I love my family. I love my life.

love,
me.

**this post was inspired by the latest one over at Saving the Best for Last.

Life Plans

2010-04-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

I love to plan.

Sometimes I find that I have trouble living in the moment because I'm too busy thinking about the future...

about my future habitat:

(I have never felt as strong a connection to a city as I do with San Francisco)

My future home:

(I am in love with all things fairytale-cottage related)

My future husband:

(seriously. biggest celebrity crush in the world. Me + James McAvoy = many many babies.)

My future career:

(This is Shauna LaTosky, a Canadian cultural anthropologist. Her work with Mursi women in Ethiopia is inspiring, and one day I hope to do something similar)

What are you planning?

love,

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

2010-04-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the coming of Spring and arrival of Spring Break, but I am obsessed with florals right now.

I just want to swaddle myself in flowers and never let go.

**all images from weheartit.com

I am so in love with those patterns....it's like a beauty overload.

love,

me.

Cinema.

2010-04-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

Today is Saturday, and I am a firm believer that Saturdays were created with the sole purpose of cuddling up under a big pile of blankets with tea and treats and watching movies.

Here are some screenshots of my absolute favourite moments from my favourite films of all time. Can you name them all?

best. thing ever.

My dad can quote every line from this movie...because it's just that great.

This one is probably going to be the hardest to recognize, but honestly, cutest scene ever. in the cutest movie ever.

So much love for this movie. So much love.

This is my favourite part, probably because it's at the end and I've finally stopped weeping.

So what are your favourite movies?

love,

me.

Spring Has Sprung!

2010-04-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen...it is officially SPRING BREAK.

I bolded, italicized and underlined that, so you know I'm for real here.

It's time for sleeping and tanning and milkshakes and parties and bonfires and shopping and travelling and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping.

Did I mention sleeping? Because I'm really looking forward to finally doing that.

I love Spring Break. Not as much as summer, but more than winter break. Honestly, the only downside to Spring Break is that there isn't Christmas. That's the only downside to summer as well. Really, there should just be a Christmas every time we don't have school. I think that's the only solution. Pretty sure that would create world peace. Just saying. I need more Christmastime.

It's weird to think how much has changed since last Spring Break. (As a full-time student, I measure my life according to school events, okay?)

*This time last year, my hair still hadn't gotten all the red out.

*This time last year, I had no idea who I was.

*This time last year, I didn't know who my real friends were.

*This time last year, I was a sophomore in high school and thought I was all grown up.

*This time last year, I was in the middle of rehearsals for Urinetown, and knew we weren't succeeding.

*This time last year, I had a full-blown crush on a Hispanic bad-boy punk rocker with amazing muscles and a girlfriend.

*This time last year, my best girlfriends in the whole wide world were coming down for a visit.

*This time last year, I didn't even read a single blog.

*This time last year...this happened.

Yes, that is my siblings and I ruining a photo with the "Chandler Face" from Friends.

Look how young we all look! Look how pale I am! (and I definitely already cross-processed this to make myself less pale. Disappointing, last-year-me.)

*This year, I'm a full on blonde.

*This year, I'm starting to figure out what it is that I'm passionate about, and who I am as a person.

*This year, I surround myself with fascinating, wonderful people who love and value me, that I love to the end of the earth and back.

*This year, I'm a junior and know that I have tons of growing up still to do.

*This year, we're two weeks away from Little Shop of Horrors, and I've never been so confident about a performance in my life. Never before have I loved a cast, crew, set, and show as much as this.

*This year, that bad-boy doesn't talk to me because I'm not the kind of girl that lets a guy have his cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean.

*This year, those best girlfriends are still the best girlfriends ever.

*This year, I'm writing THE BEST BLOG EVER.

*This year, while I can't wait to hang out and take pictures with my family...I'll enjoy way-too zoomed in excursions with my "second family", this pack of hot, fabulous mess:

Oh goodness, I love these kids so much. J'adore Lucien's model pose on the right. Work it, gurlll.

Oh, who am I trying to kid...I'm still too pale.

In short...I love Spring Break. I love not having school. I love having no math homework, and spending time with friends and family. I love that my little sister turns 12 tomorrow. I love that I live in Southern California now, and I could go to the beach if I wanted too, but it's too full of tourists from other parts of the world enjoying their Spring Breaks. I love that my family is going to Disneyland on Easter Sunday, just because we can.

I'm really enjoying my life right now, and I've been sort of neglecting the poor blog...so I'm sorry, but let's be honest, it's not like anyone reads this anyway. I'm just sort of writing what I want, when I want, and I love it.

love,

me.

**top photo from vi.sualize.us

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

Hair Envy

2010-03-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to be a brunette.

I feel like there are so many more facets to brown hair -- it's so much deeper, and more artsy and pensive.

People with brown hair come off way more complex than blondes. I make a terrible blonde...I do too much thinking.

I feel like I would be nicer if I was a brunette. I feel like I would do more crafts, and listen to better music, and wear better clothes, and have a boyfriend, and be a nicer person, and do better in school. These just sound like things that brunettes do.

love,
me.

*images thanks to vi.sualize.us and we.heart.it

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-24T20:04:00.001-07:00

Stop Me When I Start Sounding Like an After-School Special

2010-03-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

I spend so much time worrying about what other people think of me, I sometimes forget what I think of me.
I have always had and will always have chronically low self-esteem...it probably stems from all the bullying as a little kid, I don't know. But what this all translates to is -- I tend to see myself as I think that others see me.
Which, as I have already implied, is not very well.
But today, I was thinking, and I realized that I'm really not all that bad. I mean, not like I hate myself the rest of the time. I tend to quite enjoy my own company when I'm alone...it's social situations that make me insecure.

Reasons Aurora Should Like Herself:
*I have curves. Curves are regarded by most people as a good thing. It is regarded as a good thing to have the kind of hourglass shape where your hip and bust measurements are the same, and your waist is way smaller. This is a good thing. Yes, there is sometimes a little more jiggle going on than the cheerleaders have...but they just wish they had stuff to shake in the first place.

*I give really good advice. This isn't physical or anything, but I can cheer people up really well and give them really really really good advice. This comes in handy when you're a drama kid and everybody has their own personal soap opera to broadcast.

*My singing voice is quite frequently complimented. This is good, because I use it a lot.

*I am a good height. Which sounds kind of silly to be proud of, but at 5'6'' I can wear flats and heels and look perfectly proportionate in each. This is not the same for my mother, who cannot for the life of her wear a pair of flats, or the girl who sits behind me in History...she's so tall that even a tiny kitten heel puts her at six feet.

*I have really nice eyes. Deep green and big. A boy I once adored got drunk and said "Aurora...if you and I had babies, they'd have FANTASTIC eyes. And really. huge. boobs."

So, you know. I think I should cool it on the self-deprication for a bit. I mean, I'm going to look back on these days one day and I don't want to feel like I spent it hating myself.

And my kids are going to have great eyes and huge boobs. What else does a person need, right? ;)

love,
me.

Your Daily Dose of Cute

2010-03-22T16:02:00.001-07:00

This is my love right now. It just warms the cockles of my heart.

Three, Three, Three, Three...

2010-03-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

I've never really been one for that whole "ChatRoulette" or "omegle" fad...I don't understand the appeal of saying hi to an anonymous pedophile.

But this guy? This guy is the reason that whole thing might actually be a good idea.

LOVE HIM.

Oh, and I hope you all had a very happy St. Patty's Day!

love,
me.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-17T20:05:00.001-07:00

Greatest Tweets

2010-03-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

Inspired by gabby, she wrote's post about her Twitter "greatest hits", I went through my tweets. In doing so, I realized two things:
1) I tweet a lot. I got to early December and had to stop because there were too many.
2) I say some funny shiz. I also complain too much.
So here are my Greatest Tweets:

March 8th: "freshmen boys and their raging hormones both flatter and disgust me."

March 3rd: "GET OUT OF MY HEAD, RICK SPRINGFIELD."

Feb 26th: "I think I need to work the phrase 'what a load of bollocks' into everyday conversation more."

Feb 24th: "This american idol blonde dude reminds me of like, an acoustic, more musical, slightly better looking version of White Gold."

Feb 24th: "I would have accepted your friend request, but there were too many spelling mistakes in your 'info' box for me to associate myself with you."

Feb 5th: "Kay Jewelers' commercials seriously make me fear for my life."

Feb 2nd: "yes, my twitter background is a picture of Rick Moranis. Got a problem with that? Deal with it."

Jan 28th: "I just read "sponges are basal animals that lack true tissues" as "sponges are basal animals that lack trust issues"

Jan 23rd: "'frenemies? like friends and enemies? Is that like a frenema? An enema from your friend? Like...if you knew your proctologist? '-- my dad"

Jan 17th: "i have a borderline obsession with one of the guys who works at the rink. he's eating a cookie. oh, how i wish i was that cookie..."

Jan 15th: "grandpa is wearing bootay shorts."

Dec 20th: "the creepy old man who works at ralphs is hitting on me again. BACK OFF, SCARY."

If y'all want to follow me, for more brilliant musings from my complex, complex mind....follow me over here.

SUMMER.

2010-03-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today was that day. That day that is great and beautiful and mesmorizing, in spite of the fact that you're stressed and have crappy grades.

Today was the day that summer came to Orange County.

And are we ever glad it did! It has been nothing short of dreary for weeks now, but today was warm and sunny and the sun was up when we left rehearsal, and it was just BEAUTIFUL.

Summer's my favourite season. By far. Loooove it.

So I'm a happy camper.

love,
me.

Give Your Left Brain a Break

2010-03-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a weekend at the Fullerton College High School Theatre Festival. As always, it was an amazing experience.

I love acting. I always have, I always will. I was the little girl who lived life in an imaginary universe. Nothing in my childhood was tangible or realistic. I had my own language, was constantly singing, frequently insisted that my mother was really the chief of our tribe, an escaped criminal or a moose, and I had an entourage of imaginary friends who favoured exotic vacations to places like Halifax and Nanaimo.

This weekend, on campus with thousands of creative people sharing in a common love of theatre, I was truly in my element. I competed with a monologue and a musical theatre medley with my cast of Little Shop of Horrors. We didn't finalize, but we were extremely proud of what we accomplished, and when our show opens next month, you can bet it will be amazing. We bonded as only theatre kids can bond, and I feel like these people are my siblings. I love them.

Theatre festivals are awesome. Yes, the energy of improv performers can tire you out. Yes, the people walking around in Renaissance attire is a little freaky. But there is something to be said for the power of theatre. The power of letting go, and immersing yourself in another world, where your problems aren't problems and your world melts away. Where nothing separates you from your character; not the judges, the audience, the classroom you're performing in or the fact that no, your mother has never actually tried to stab you, but this is the contemporary dramatic monologue competition. That's what I love the most about acting...the act of letting go. The act of centering myself before a performance, and stepping into another dimension, one that exists in extreme detail within my mind, and is expressed through my voice and body, as completely controlled by me.

I think everybody could use a dose of theatre. Regardless of whether you are an artistic person or not, sometimes it's nice to just relax and play pretend.

love,
me.

You Go, Girls

2010-03-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

Today, I went on a mission with my friend Ashley to buy a wig for her role as Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors. (Personally, I think she does it better than Ellen Greene. But what do I know?)

We headed over to a wig shop in Laguna Niguel, and found the. best. wig. ever. It suits her face so well, and has a fantastically sixties vibe. And it's so Audrey.

But here's what really struck me...it's a shop that specializes in wigs for women undergoing chemotherapy. We didn't know this going in, and I was really touched by the experience.

These women who are going through so much in their lives are so strong. Honestly, to be aroud these women who are frail and bald, yet so self-assured is truly an experience that changes you. I wanted to hug them all. And they were all so kind and lovely, and laughed while we complained about the price of a good wig (holy. crap. that is all I will say about that)

I don't think any of the women in the store understood how deeply I was moved by their power. I just thought they were fantastic, inspirational women. It was upsetting, seeing all of them without their hair, but I loved them all for how they acted like it was no big deal. To be so confident despite everything you are going through...it's something I really admire. And they all looked absolutely gorgeous in their wigs.

How to Be A Diva: The Step-by-Step Guide

2010-03-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Before I run off to another 5 hours of rehearsal for Little Shop Of Horrors, I thought I would provide a little how-to to anybody considering involvement in theatre, musical or otherwise. A little guide based on a special type of performer all too common in the theatrical world.

1) Your Costume Will Never Fit
Your hips, they are too curvy. That dress just sits wrong on you. Hello? That colour does nothing for your skin tone. You look like a grandma. You don't look like enough of a grandma. You can't even look at yourself. Stop looking at you! Stop it! Turn around! Regardless of whether or not you actually believe that your costume is ugly...this method gets everyone in the room to come and see for themselves, and then tell you how beautiful you look.

2) You Will Never Hit A Wrong Note
The words "sharp" and "flat" are not in your vocabulary. That note you are singing is the correct pitch. Everybody else is singing in the wrong key. Why am I playing your notes? You're right. You're right. You're right. They're wrong, obviously. The harmony sounds fine. At least you're right. Why am I still reviewing your notes? You know them, because you are right. Because you don't need to be able to read music, because you are right.

3) There Will Never Be Scenes More Important Than Yours
Never. Never ever ever. Which, obviously, entitles you to talking loudly backstage, walking across the front of the stage to go get a sip of your extra-purified water from an untouched spring in Botswana, and insulting the performers loudly. Don't worry, they can't hear you. And even if they can, your magical shield of impenetrable talent will fend them off.

4) You Have A Conflict. Time For The World To End.
Uh oh. You have work. Or a dentist appointment. Or some sort of something. Clearly rehearsal cannot continue. Clearly set construction will have to wait. If you aren't there, how will the show hold itself together? How will people know what to do? They will just be lost without your presence, wandering through some sort of dream-like state until you finally return to them and free them from the hell that is the show without you. Thank you. Thank you so much for gracing us with your divine attendance.

5) You're Just. Plain. Better.
Honestly, it's as simple as that. I mean, who do these people think they are? It is your job as the clearly more experienced performer to guide them toward the light. And by light, I do mean the door, where you should not-so-kindly inform them that maybe this just isn't their calling. Really. Your grace, your beauty, your annunciation, diction, voice, tone and general stage presence is just too gorgeous to be shared with newbies. Let's be frank here...you are better than everybody else in the cast. And they love being constantly reminded of this. They love it. It keeps them in check. Please remind them of this as much as you can.

There you go. One tip for every hour I have to be at rehearsal on a weekend. Ughhhh.
See, you're a bona fide theatre star now. Congratulations. Honestly, the rest of the cast will love you even more now.

love,
me.

Inhale, Exhale...

2010-03-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

I have too much stuff to do.

I feel like I'm running around doing a million things at once, and worrying about a million things at once, and planning a million things at once, and catching up on a million things that I missed doing another million things that had to get done.

My mind feels cluttered. The bags under my eyes are dark and heavy. Every step I take has the weight of a thousand distracted thoughts. I feel like just shutting the world out, holing myself up in my bedroom and blocking it all out...but I know that doing that can only make things worse.

I need more seconds in the day. I need a few extra minutes to finish my homework. I need a couple more hours of sleep. I need time to stop and breathe before running off to do something else.

I haven't been able to blog, because I haven't been able to think, because I'm honestly at home for maybe 8 hours a day, and that's including the hours I spend asleep.

I am so frantic all the time. I'm sure I've begun to scare people with my manic behaviour lately, but I can't focus on anything. I need the world to just stop for a little while so I can get my head cleared.

I promise I'll get back to writing on here. Eventually.

Soon, I hope.

love,
me.

I Wish I Had Jessie's Girl...

2010-03-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't had any blogging inspiration lately. It has been almost a week since I posted. I keep trying to write, opening post after post, but nothing's seemed worthwhile. I can probably assume that this post I'm writing now will soon be outcasted to "drafts".

I tried writing about a trip to get sushi with all my favourite gays.
I tried writing about the Canadian hockey win over the US. (hahahaha. suckers. take that.)
I tried writing about all kinds of things, but they all turned out so blah.

But it absolutely kills me not to be writing for you, dearies, and it's been a while since I made a Happy List, so here goes.

Things Making Me Happy Today

* The lookbook for the spring collection of Anthropologie's sister company, Leifsdottir
* I've had the song "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield in my head for 3 days now...and as irritating as the repetition can be, I'm quite enjoying it.
* My dog Ginger got out of the backyard this afternoon, and we have no idea how long she was gone for...but she knocked on the front door when she got back. How cute is that?
* I have no homework tonight!
* My friend Josefine's tumblr. So fab.
* Our production of Little Shop of Horrors is going so well. Our harmonies are so tight. I am so thrilled.

I am so so so so SO tired right now, so I'm sorry about this post. I'm posting it though, because I feel bad looking at Taking the Water and seeing that Multicultural fair post still sitting there by itself at the top of the page, all sad and lonely.

love,
me.

OPA!

2010-02-26T17:54:00.000-08:00

Today was my school's "Multicultural Fair". It's one of the highlights of being in charge of a major school organization, because all of the clubs get together, each takes one country and provides a little information about the nation and some local (or at least locally themed) food from our region.

And Drama Club this year chose...GREECE.

Can I just say that we R-O-C-K-E-D it. At our booth decorated with palm fronds, flower garlands and classical Greek Theatre masks, we served deliciously gooey and sweet baklava and fluffy, warm pita bread with super-dooper hummus generously provided at a stunningly good fundraiser price from Daphne's Greek Cafe. We had from 10:45 to 1 o clock to sell our wares, and we were sold out by 12. Hundreds of pitas and baklavas vanished before our eyes as thousands of hungry teenagers swarmed the series of booths. In the background, a professional Jamaican steel drum band played, giving our lunchtime festival quite the island theme.

Drama Club, the enthusiastically creative people that we are, were awarded Best Costumes by the PTSA (Parent-Teacher-Student Association), and we totally deserved it. We had our drop-dead-gorgeous Thespian Society Vice-President dressed in a form-fitting golden toga as she posed flirtatiously with baklava (sex sells. Don't judge us for creative marketing), and I was outfitted in the standard Multicultural Fair t-shirt with a Laurel Wreath in my hair.

We were also the only club that chose a country related to their club. Well, other than French Club and Spanish Club. But that's just obvious. Greece, as the birthplace of theatre, was perfect for us, and we made a ton of cash, which is great because our Theatre Department gets no funding from the school or the district.

I had a fantastic time and got to experience foods from a lot of different cultures. It was a great experience and I am so, so proud of Drama Club.

"Aliso Drama, More Drama Than Your Mama!"

...i love our slogan.

I'm No Poet

2010-02-24T15:34:00.000-08:00

That one song that makes me think of you
that hurts my heart when it comes on.
close my eyes
purse my lips
change songs.
you sang it into my ear
held my hand
kissed me softly
promises upon promises
lies upon lies
"everything"
michael buble
you ruined a fantastic song.

via fleuravenue

Oh Canada...

2010-02-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

This video makes me so proud to be Canadian. Even if we are shamed by our loss to the USA in Men's Hockey (DON'T. GET. ME. STARTED)

Holla back, Dwight Schrute. You know where it is at.

love,
me.

I Prefer Mr. Astaire, Thank You Very Much.

2010-02-21T13:58:00.000-08:00

Last night was my school's winter formal. A night of cute boys in suits, corsages, dresses, suits, limos, dinner, dancing, cheesy photos on the beach and afterparties galore
I spent the night in sweatpants watching Fred Astaire movies with my little sister, eating pizza and sour patch kids and painting each others nails with cucumber face masks on.
To every single person I shared this plan with, I'm clinically insane.
Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.
What do you guys think?

Sucker For Punishment

2010-02-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

I have a chronic love of things I absolutely cannot have.
I can't stay away from them.

*The bad boy with a ridiculously tainted track record but the smoldering eyes, constant compliments and the rocking bod? Yes please!
*The clothes, body, makeup and hair that everybody but me seems to have? I'll pine over them and get down on myself.
*The super-mormon who is so into his faith that he won't even look at a girl like that, but who makes my tummy do flip-flops? Hells yes.
*The over-4.0 my friends have in school? I'll never be that student, and I refuse to let myself be happy with a 3.8.
*The guy who led me on for 3 months, became the king of mixed signals and then decided I "wasn't attractive enough" (and that is a direct, to-my-face quote, ladies and gents)? Can't get him off my mind.
*Any guy with a girlfriend? Let's decide we like him and convince ourselves we have a chance, why don't we?

what's a girl to do? I'm beginning to think that we are genetically predisposed to love the more elusive things in life.
The Han Solos in a world of Luke Skywalkers.
I need Yoda to tell me that stupid, I am.
It just hurts my heart, wanting these things so desperately, and ignoring my constant reminders that they're IMPOSSIBLE.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

Burn, Baby, Burn

2010-02-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

I'm baaaaack!
I just spent the best four days of my life, in the best city I've ever lived in.
Ottawa, you are my baby.
Ariana, Haley, Mary, your wonderful families, you are my loves.
Pictures are on their way to the blog :)

I hope everybody had a Valentine's Day that was simply sublime.
I have a history of terrible V-Days, but I honestly loved every minute of this Sunday.
I spent it surrounded by love and support, with my three best friends in the whole world.

Recipe for the Perfect (Single) Valentine's Day

Step One: Sip chai lattes at Starbucks while you hide from the brewing snowstorm with your best girlfriends.
Step Two: Brunch at Moxie's, where the waitress is rude, but contributes humour to the meal. Spend an hour and a half talking about boys.
Step Three: Go see Valentine's Day. One of the best chick flicks I've seen in so, so long.
Step Four: Watch Cinderella Story, Ever After, and Jumper squished onto an air mattress with the girls, eating heart-shaped cookies and jumbo-sized chocolate bars.
Step Five: the piece de resistance. We made a roaring, warm fire in the fireplace (thanks to Mare Bears and her Girl Guide nature-communing), and made little cards of all the boys who have stomped on our hearts. We colored them and wrote angry, angry things detailing the crap they've done to us, and then, one by one, we burned them. We read what they did to us, we threw them in the fire and watched those haunting memories burn. So cathartic.

love,
me.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-10T12:04:00.000-08:00

The Ceranation

2010-02-09T23:44:00.000-08:00

It is 11:40 PM and I am not even halfway through my homework.
How is this okay?
Do my teachers not realize that I have a blog to tend to?
And sleep to have?
Ugh.
In the meantime, loves, enjoy this video. It combines my two great loves: Jersey Shore and Michael Cera.

Michael Cera is my homeboy.

RIP Bobby

2010-02-08T22:34:00.000-08:00

RIP Bobby.

Today, we lost a good buddy. He's been through a hell of a lot, I mean as far as being a pet bird goes, and he was a good bird.

Bobby, you are a sweetheart.

We have had so many cute moments, with you perched on the top of my laptop, and pecking at the keys on the keyboard, or when we were on the plane moving to California, and you were sitting in your little carrier taking baths in the sunlight from the window.

I know Mom was there in your last moments, and she did everything she could for you.

I haven't cried, I haven't mourned or felt grief or anything...

I would feel silly, because you were only a bird...but you were a good little friend.

I love you, and I know you're in a better place now.

C'mon, Fatso, Just Bust A Move...

2010-02-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

I feel trapped.
I started this blog to overcome - to find who I was and become that girl.
I want to be vibrant, and interesting, and unique.
I want to stand for something, so I stop falling for everything.
Do I feel crippled by my youth? Definitely. I try and try to remind myself that one day I will regret that I didn't relish my youth...but I so badly want to be free. I feel so grown-up already. I feel so mature already. I feel like there are so many things I could be doing right now that I'm not because I'm not "old enough".
I want to live a life like Tina over at The English Muse.
I want to live a life like my friend Josefine.
I want to live a life like Naomi at The Rockstar Diaries.
But I want to be me.
Just, not the me that sits on the couch all day in jeans and a tee shirt looking at pictures of the clothes I wish I had, and the places I wish I could go, and the people I wish I could help.
Because I feel like this blog was designed to remind me every day to be who I want to be, and stop wishing for things. And I feel like I keep adding to a list of things I want to do. It isn't all my fault, I have no money and no job, I can't drive, I have school...but I just feel so...unfulfilled.

This blog has helped me in so many ways, though. I have become more optimistic. I am no longer in toxic friendships, or pretending to be someone I'm not just because I'm afraid of what people will think. I have a group, small but mighty, that reads my blog and reminds me every day that what I have to say matters. And every comment and every hit makes my heart soar. I know I haven't exactly been writing posts the way I used to, all artsy-fartsy and, you know, actual writing. I know I've just sort of been chronicling my life, but I don't want to confine my blog to any sort of style...I want it to evolve on its own, because I absolutely love writing in it. I never thought it would mean this much to me, I never thought the blogosphere could be so full of such amazing people, but it does, and it is. I don't know if I'll ever tell my family about this blog, and only a handful of my friends have heard of it. I like the quasi-anonymity. I like that here, I really am myself, and I have no fear.
I love this blog.
so much.
Thank you for being on this journey with me...and I promise I wasn't lying when I posted my first post, ok?

love,
me.

Relax, Take It Easy.

2010-02-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it can be so easy to forget how to relax.

I think we all could use a reminder of that sometimes.

Don't sweat it, you'll be fine.

Take a few deep breaths, watch a good movie, eat something fattening and smile.

It doesn't matter, baby.

love,

me.

I Deserve a Biopic

2010-02-05T20:43:00.000-08:00

Lately, with doppelganger profile pictures all over facebook, The brilliant hipstercrite casting her own dream-screenplay, and with my ever-present and ever-growing television/movies addiction, I have but one thing left to tackle. And that is, of course, the eternal, the significant, the rite of passage...the biopic.
Because, clearly, I deserve a movie about my life. I mean, I am freaking special. And so when they produce a major-motion picture about my existence, and it tops Avatar in the box office, and the critics rave...this is who's going to be in it.

"Taking The Water: One Spectacular Girl, One Spectacular Life"

The Leading Lady

Aurora: Hilary Duff

Energetic, out-going actress. She blogs, she cooks, she sings, she laughs, she has lots of really awesome friends. Being a good old-fashioned theatre kid, she has limited success with the opposite sex. Doesn't mean a girl can't dream though, right?

Yes, okay, it's a little far-reaching. But I'm writing and casting this movie, and I can be Hilary Duff if I want to. OKAY? And my friends insist that I look like her, circa 2006...so, you know. She's really pretty. And I used to be legitimately obsessed with her. And I still have a lingering girl crush.

The Family

Mom: Reba McEntire

Ex-professional country singer turned stay-at-home-mom/musical director of incredibly legit high school and community musical theatre. Such a strong and artistic woman, fantastic mother, and just all around bangin' gal. She has a great relationship with her children, because she's great.

Reba is like, the Texan version of my mother, so it's only suitable that she be her in my dream film. She'd be okay exchanging the southern drawl for a Canadian accent, right? When I think of a supportive redheaded mother, I think Reba. Well, actually, I think Mom, but then I think Reba.

Dad: Bruce Willis

Works really hard. Like, really hard. He gets really stressed about it sometimes, and he's on the road a lot (possible secret-ninja-agent plotline while he's "business trips"? I think so.) He always put family first, and he's wrapped around Aurora's finger. Not in a spoiled way, just in a "sure, honey, I'll make you a smoothie" way. Believes in the good-old-fashioned value of hard work. Very street-smart. Doesn't appreciate bald jokes, but they happen anyway.

When my dad first "shaved his head" (let's be honest, it was almost all gone anyway), my grandma insisted he looked like Bruce Willis. So that's where that inspiration came from. Plus, Bruce is so incredibly super badass, and every little girl sees her dad as a superhero. So what if he's a sales manager for a healthcare company...he still fights bad guys in my mind. So that's what biopics are for. Biographical? Barely.

Parker: Ashton Kutcher

The goofy, musician brother. Who does uncannily well with the ladies. The ladies that swarm him at school, and the mall, and the grocery store, and the side of the road, and the ladies who sit on the front step waiting for him until Aurora goes and yells at them. Which they don't appreciate. They can be played by random biznatches. For that is what they are. Anways, he's a cutie pie. And he loves his sister. Most of the time. And he has a band, which is still in the loud, house-shaking, irritating garage stage.

I never realized how much Ashton Kutcher looks like my brother will in a couple years. Seriously. Doppelganger. And you know Parker will enjoy being painted as a ladykiller. A ladykiller with a stupidly corny sense of humor.

Gillian: Abigail Breslin

Little. And stubborn. And obssessed with animals. And did I mention stubborn? Maniacal prankster and...stubborn.

I couldn't describe my little sister any better than that. Little, stubborn, maniacal, animals. That's it.

The BFFs

Gaston: David Archuleta

Best Guy Friend for LIFE who always has a wisecrack on hand, a monologue memorized to make you laugh, and a surefire way to to cheer anybody up. He's always there for Aurora. And he promises he always will be. He is so incredibly smart and pronounces pad thai as "pad thigh". Which isn't necessarily his fault, because he grew up in Argentina. And...you know...foreigners.

I only picked David Archuleta for this because he and Gaston look ridiculously alike. Gastonatron hates the resemblance. But he isn't casting this movie. Oh God I love power. I also love the opportunity to refer to myself in the third person in the character description.

Ariana: Alexis Bledel

Lovebug. Innocent, but spunky. Conservative, but open-minded. Beautiful, but so, so humble.

Pretty much, Alexis Bledel repeating her performance as Lena from Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, except as a Mormon Canadian Actress instead of a Greek Painter. They're the same person, what can I say?

Mary: Kat Dennings

Moody, Artsy, Super sexy in a confident, unique, way. With a great rack.

Think of Kat's performance in Charlie Bartlett. Then make her character twice as freaking great. She'd have to cut her hair though. The best part about Kat Dennings is her hardcore spunk mixed with a real classiness that I think fits Mary quite fantastically.

Haley: Emma Stone

She's hilarious. Totally girl-next-door, with an incredibly sensual side and she has been through so much. She also takes really fantastic photo-booth snapshots with blue posh-bob wigs. And isn't afraid to go buy a bottle of apple juice to get the change she needs to take those photo-booth snapshots.

Finding a Haley B. was by far the toughest one of all of these to pick. She's so unique. But I think Emma Stone pretty much fits the picture pretty well. I would roll together her performance in Superbad and The Rocker and the last half of the House Bunny, and give her a touch of Charlie's Angels for zest.

The Frenemy

Not Naming Her But She's Played By Aubrey O'Day

...Aubrey O'Day. Playing HERSELF. That's what's so beautiful about this casting choice. It's true.

Anybody confused by this need only to read this post. Pretty much sums everything up.

The Love Interest (insert fist pump and "thank you God" here)

Thomas: Lucas Till

Can anybody say heartthrob? Can anybody else say "totally too shy to talk to him even though he used to talk to you all the time and wrote in your yearbook that it's 'really fun talking to you, and we'd better have more classes together next year'? Apparently we can say both of those things, because they're both true. Totally nice. Needs to work on his fashion sense a little, but every girl has a not-so-secret crush on him. He doesn't date though. Why? Mysterious.

Well that was ballsy, Aurora. Just scream to the world who you're so creepily obsessed with at school. Sah-weet. Still, Lucas Till makes my heart go thumpity-thump. Isn't he just dreamy?

Blahhhhhh.

2010-02-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

Here's a little known fact about me: watching movies or tv shows with touching, romantic plots make me really, really, really depressed. Always have, and I can assume they always will. Which is bizarre, because I love them. Or at least, I love them while I watch them. Then they stop and I cry. And I think. I think a lot, and I don't talk, and I ruminate over my loneliness and all those things that I like to not acknowledge at all.

So that's fun.

I'm going to go to sleep. Maybe cry a little. Sounds super exciting, I know.

You all wish you were me.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-03T17:35:00.001-08:00

Happy List

2010-02-02T16:32:00.000-08:00

Reasons Miss Aurora is happy today:

*8 days until I see my lovey-doves!! (That is, if we don't count today and the day I leave, and I prefer to make these numbers as small as possible <3)
*My US History final went smashingly. Absolutely smashingly.
*Rehearsals for Little Shop of Horrors start next week, with me playing Crystal (the one hitting truly ethereal notes and belting her soul out? Yeah that'll be me). I can't wait, because for once I have complete confidence in our cast to do well. And crew...well, they'll figure it out.
*Fish tacos in my belly say what?
*A grade miracle occured, and even though I got a C on the multiple choice section of my English final, my grade in the class went up.
*My sister and I are watching Bones right now. I am so, so, so glad we are bonding. I know it sounds trivial to be so happy about watching a show about forensic anthropology and crime fighting, but seriously, we have negative amounts of things in common. And now she's just as obsessed with Bones (and David Boreanaz. And John Francis Daley. And Michael Grant Terry) as I am. Mmmm...nerd boys/a hot fbi agent/ex-teenage vampire of every girl's dreams.

love,
me.

Les Quatres

2010-01-30T10:43:00.000-08:00

There are some people I'd like to introduce you to. They are my life, my love, my happiness. They are the glue that puts me back together when I fall, and the wings that raise me up. They are the best friends I have ever had and ever will have.
We are Les Quatres. Yes, we have a cheesy name for our group. That's how cool we are.
We are The Slut, The Prude, The Mormon, and the Veggie. We made those nicknames up when we were 14 years old, and they're not really correct anymore, but we still use them religiously. That's how cool we are.
We are an archetype like no other. Our personalities and friendship perfectly fit into The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Sex and the City, Golden Girls, Bass Ackwards and Belly Up...the list goes on. That's how mother effing cool we are.
They live 2802 miles away. 10 hours by plane. 3 hours behind.
We have had a solid facebook thread going for over a year. Thousands and thousands of messages.
I miss them so much every day.

The Slut: Haley. Silly, silly bitch. She is so funny, and does very, very well with people of the penis variety. She's not really a slut, by any means, as her nickname would suggest. She's just the most...sexually mature. The most outgoing. The most confident. If Hales A Bales was a car, she would be a DeLorean. Like, from Back to the Future? Like, the coolest car ever, with the doors that open vertically? A DeLorean with leopard-print seats and finicky brakes. She's slick, she's cool, she's the funniest thing ever. She knows just how to make you love yourself. And she knows just how to make herself loved by everybody she meets without even trying. Haley once wrote me a step-by-step guide to hooking up with a guy at a party. "Haley's Hook-Up Bible". God I love that kid.

The Veggie: Mary. Mary is...was...is...was...a vegetarian. Had been for years. She has recently moved to chicken. And maybe other meats too. The Slut suggested that we change her nickname to The Chicken-Veggie, but it just didn't flow as well with the rest of the names. Mary is definitely the deep, artistic one of our group. We like to say that she's Tibby from the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. This is not to say that she spends all day in her room making documentaries about "the man" or wears black all day (although darker tones do dominate her wardrobe). Mary just...is Mary. The Whitester. The Veggie. The Chicken-Veggie. I can't explain the amazingness that is her. She was the first girl I was friends with in ninth grade, and the first girl to sleep over at my house after a 2-year friendless stint in middle school. Continuing with that car metaphor, Mary would be some sort of hybrid. Some sort of black hybrid with leather seats that get ass-meltingly hot in the sun. Mary has an extremely large capacity to love. Mary has an extremely large capacity to laugh. Mary has an extremely large capacity to feel. She is deep. She is complicated. She is amazing.

The Mormon: Ariana. Oh, Ariana Banana. How do I even describe her? She's honest, no matter what. She's beautiful, but she doesn't know it. She is so genuinely kind. She is so ridiculously talented. She gets jokes 25 seconds after everyone else, just because. She absolutely hates it when people don't correctly pronounce the T's in "button" and "mitten". She's a mormon. She goes to art school, where everybody is very liberal, very free thinking and very...stoned. She blends her open-mindedness so maturely and with her faith, which is something I really respect about her. We used to ride the bus together to school, and we didn't even need to speak to each other to know that it was a morning for Michael Buble tunes and reading Pendragon, or Belgian Electropop and crazy dance moves. Ariana's car-self would be a dark blue 69 Camaro with white racing stripes, great breaks, a picky transmission, an excellent revamped stereo system, and those well-loved seats that hug you when you sit down. Ariana's reliable and so, so, so fun. Her little brother is in love with me. He said so. She's my sister from another (mormon) mister. As we said before I moved, "Don't forget me. We're family, and you don't forget family." I'll never forget her. I couldn't if I tried.

The Prude: Me. I've never been very fond of the "prude" nickname, but we all decided that "Goodie-Goodie" didn't really flow with all our names. I still think that I could have been "The Princess" because Sleeping Beauty and I have the same name. But nooooo. I don't really know how to describe myself, so I guess I'll just explain the whole 'prude' thing. I'm not a prude, okay? I'm just really good at following rules. And really bad at breaking them. I like structure. And alphabetizing. And color-coding. I get really shy around cute guys. The definition of "prude" is "someone who is easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity". They don't shock me. I just don't spend a lot of time doing them, in comparison to my best friends. If I was a car, I'd be a yellow Volkswagon Bug Convertible, with the daisies in their little holder, and the little daisy headlights. Super peppy, but don't piss me off, because those bugs have terrible safety ratings, and I will crash.

I'm flying to Canada less than two weeks from now to visit. It'll be my first time going back since we moved two years ago. The girls flew down here last April, but I can't wait to go home.
I love you, girls. See you on the 11th!

love,
me.